Student: I’m so angry about having to pay for social security and all that crap when I’m never going to see it myself. Heck, my parents won’t even see it! They can’t retire until they’re like eighty. This country sucks! I’m moving to Iran.
Art studio, East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
Teacher on cell, grading papers: On the whole, these papers have been disappointingly good.
Columbus Airport
Ohio
Overheard by: confabulation Nation
Grouchy mother to small child in stroller: I wipe your butt! The least you can do is share my drink!
Mall
Pennsylvania
Disappointed wife: Hi. I’d like to exchange these really nice-colored dress shirts for these really boring dress shirts. I had my husband try on the lilac, and it looked great. He said he would never wear it because it made him look gay. I said, ‘First of all, you’ll never be attractive enough to pass for a gay man…!’
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Express Customer
Angry girl storming out of classroom: My mama ain’t raise no adolescent!
High school
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: Bre
Mom: I think that I will get him his first Rubik’s Cube. He’d probably eat it.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/he_doesnt_seem_to_be_ready.html
Overheard by: someone who doesnt eat rubik’s cubes
Dude #1: Do you trim your pubes?
Dude #2: Um, what? No… Why?
Dude #1: I do…
Dude #2: Okay…
Dude #1: And I think I trimmed them too much…
Dude #2: And?
Dude #1: Well, now my dick is itchy…
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: damn hiatus
Chick: That guy’s not a real bum — he has a laptop!
Brown Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Whitney Wrobel
Guy, about Bob Barker: The show just won’t be the same without him. And the pet population is going to explode!
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/only_if_we_forget_his_immortal.html
Overheard by: the truth hurts
Thug: Yeah, right… The sign shouldn’t read ‘Welcome to Omaha’ — it should read ‘Welcome to Omaha… You’re gonna get fucking lost.’
Omaha, Nebraska
