Cute girl to friend: But I don't want a booty call! (pause) But the message of the notebook made me realize how important they are.

Cornell University
Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: Anna

20-year-old guy to his friend: So then I finally find my laptop in the dumpster, covered in semen, so that's how that went.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Vanessa Duguay

Guy to girlfriend: I like when we’re both using our laptops and I lick your nipple and it shocks me, like licking a nine-volt battery.

Palo Alto, California

Girl to boy: I thought you lost your voice when you dropped your laptop?

Queens Park Community School

Guy: You know when you do a “Find File” in Windows? Yeah. I want to kill the little animated dog… It bothers me.
Girl: Hahaha… Yeah. It’s better than the paperclip.
Guy: Meh… Only because he doesn’t pop up unexpectedly. Clippy was kind of cool if he weren’t in the way.
Girl: Thats what he wants you to think! He makes you feel bad for hating him!
Guy: Why this makes me want to have an animated kitten running around my desktop, I don’t know. I used to have such a program.
Girl: I had a stripper on my laptop. She danced and stripped whenever music came on.
Guy: You’re such a closet nympho.
Girl: Yeah. For my dreams class, we have to write all our dreams down and share them with the class. Last night I dreamt I was trekking through a jungle in gold prada heels to find my doctor to get an HIV test. I’m not sure I want the class psychoanalyzing that one.

Portland, Maine

Penn student #1, looking at sculpture: Oh my god, I, like, totally hate art.
Penn student #2: I know, right? They should just buy us all laptops instead.

Locust Walk
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Nerd #1: You know, we never really have to grow up. We just have to know when to act like we’re actually adults.
Nerd #2 with laptop: Shut up, I’m watching Batman: The Animated Series.

Overheard by: doug

Old Midwestern lady #1: All these kids bringing their videos games everywhere!
Old Midwestern lady #2: It's depressing! My son-in-law brings his laptop everywhere. Always on the internet.
Old Midwestern lady #1: Is he using one of those blueberries? Or blackpods?
Old Midwestern lady #2: I don't know, I'm just glad I'm old.

Newark, New Jersey

Overheard by: thankfully on a different flight

Chick: That guy’s not a real bum — he has a laptop!

Brown Line
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Whitney Wrobel