Guys

Twin guy #1: This pillow smells like my dreams!
Girl, smelling pillow: Beef Ramen noodles?
Twin guy #1: I am awesome at dreaming!
Twin guy #2: This is why I hate that we have the same face.

Milford Mall
Milford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Layla

Guy#1: I just don't like shaved vaginas. They creep me out. I got down there and I was like “Oh”!
Guy#2: Yeah, you have the prickle factor.
Guy#1: There was no prickle factor…

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Josh

Guy, sweetly to girlfriend: Hey, honey!
Guy friend: Did you know your voice changes when you talk to her?
Guy: Of course! She's the one who fucks me.

Saint Peter's College
New Jersey

Tenor-voiced guy on cell: So I hung out at the pie shop after that for about half an hour. And I stole a quiche. Yeah, I totally stole it. And a croissant. Just walked up to the counter and bagged them for myself and walked out. It's my reckless streak.

Streetcar
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Felicity Thistle

Former roommate: Arabs smell good… No, I don't talk to stinky Arabs. All my Arab friends smell fantastic.

Bloomington, Indiana

Overheard by: Rachel S.

Guy to another: You know we're dating the nicest girls in the world, right? And we took their virginities! So you know that if we break up with them we're gonna be the assholes. We're fucked.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Guy #1: Do you like Guns 'n' Roses?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: In a strange sort of way, I know Slash. Well… Slash's mom used to be my TA, you know, my teacher's assistant, when I was a kid.
Guy #2: You gotta get me his autograph. I'll suck your dick if you get me his autograph.
Guy #1: Do you prefer guys?
Guy #2: Yeah.

Spokane, Washington

Girl hottie: Do they give out medals for chronic female masturbators? Because if so… (points to self with thumbs) Super star. I'm talking gold medal, national treasure.
Guy hottie: You're not deterring me! We're getting turkey bacon!

Wegmans
New York

Overheard by: Bronze Medalist

30-something woman: I will never find true love.
Barely legal guy: Well, you've got a husband, you've got me, and you've got the two other guys you're sleeping with, so it's not for lack of trying!

Clarksville, Indiana

Guy: I'm going to sneeze!
Girl, getting in his face: Think about bananas! Think about bananas! You won't sneeze.
Religion professor: Just like thinking about bananas won't get you pregnant…

College
Rock Island, Illinois

Overheard by: I like bananas….