Guys

Teacher: I’m leaving for a few minutes. Ted*, you’re in charge.
Ted*: Alright, everyone get naked.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Woman: …and Scarlett Johansson is in it.
Husband: Really? Okay, let’s go.
Woman (to ticket seller): Oh, now he’ll watch it.
(they enter the theater)
Husband: And you said sex too, right?

Movie Theater
Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Guy walking opposite traffic on a one-way street: If I get hit by another car my mom will be pissed.

Clemson, South Carolina

Guy: That motherfucking cop has driven past here twice in the last fifteen minutes.
Cop (on car’s loudspeaker): I’m not a motherfucker.

University of Georgia
Athens, Georgia

Overheard by: Anne

Guy: I’m pretty positive that on judgment day, god is going to have a live action replay of this conversation and be like: “See… And you were so close!”

University of Kentucky
Lexington, Kentucky

Guy, mournfully: And then I go in and Colin is sitting there, taking shots of vodka by himself, in that pink dress…
Girl, nonplussed: Again?

Newark, Delaware

Overheard by: archie

Hipster college dude: You mean you had anal?
Hipster college chick: Well, more like mental anal.
Hipster college dude: Mental anal. Hmmm, let me think on that a spell.

UNM Campus
Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: klutch

Boyfriend: I only cheated on you with one girl but you cheated on me with three guys… at the same time!

Ohio State University

Overheard by: JooSki

Loud white ghetto guy on cell: Dude, I’m at Target. They don’t got nothing here! Man, I should have gone to Wal-Mart. (pause) Oh, here’s a sweet knife. Maybe I’ll buy that for shits and giggles.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/298723208/this-guy-knows-how-to-have-fun.html

Overheard by: gee, you have to wonder what this guy does with his free time…

20-something guy at baseball game: My nipples are bleeding because of her. She deserves it.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/309168160/what-is-payback-for-bloody-nipples.html

Overheard by: 5 rows up