Middle school guy #1: Dude, look at Raymond and tell me he doesn't look like my dad's girlfriend.
Middle school guy #2: What? No way!
Middle school guy #1: It's true. She looks just like Raymond, except she has a woman's body.
Coal Hill, Arkansas
Middle school guy #1: Dude, look at Raymond and tell me he doesn't look like my dad's girlfriend.
Middle school guy #2: What? No way!
Middle school guy #1: It's true. She looks just like Raymond, except she has a woman's body.
Coal Hill, Arkansas
Guy on phone: Does she move when you have sex with her? Maybe that's the problem.
University Park, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Bill
Girl: Oh, and guess what else happened?
Boyfriend: What?
Girl: I got my period again! What the hell?!
Eaton Centre, Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Guy: Leggings are fucking up everything. I used to know when it was winter because girls would stop wearing skirts, but now thanks to leggings they can wear them all year. It’s bullshit.
Connecticut College
Angry traveler: The flight’s canceled because of weather?!? Can’t you do something?
Airline counter man: Ma’am, despite my godlike appearance, I cannot control the weather.
O’Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: He’s not so Godlike
Guy: So, you can talk about stabbing puppies but I can’t talk about punting babies? That doesn’t seem right.
Girl: That’s exactly right.
Rutgers Stadium, New Jersey
Dude: Just because you masturbate to llama/turtle porn…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Guy #1: What’s the big deal about the bird flu anyway? I’m not a bird.
Guy #2: It’s those people who play with bird crap and such. It’s kinda like the chicken pox, see what I mean?
Guy #1: Well, I’m fine then because I already had the chicken pox.
Reno, Nevada
Overheard by: Scott
Dude leaving party: Just remember we have one goal. We have one shared dream, people. It starts with “I” and ends with “no more motherfucking apartheid.”
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Guy on cell: I told you… the orange ones are hermaphroditic and the purple ones are sterile.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: piruqsiviliriji
