Guys

Guy: Man, I have a ton of friends who are Asian. But watch out — if you touch one of them on the head, they’ll kill you.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/

Official: What experience do you have?
Job-seeker: I worked for 30 years on a poultry farm killing chickens.
Official: Have you done anything else?
Job-seeker: I killed turkeys.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/06/overheard-in-employment-office-or.html

Overheard by: o.b.

Dude: Man, it’s just that some people got what 1992 was all about and some people didn’t. I’m one of the ones that got it, and she’s not, so no, we’re not going out again.

http://overheardinjxn.blogspot.com/2005/09/man-its-just-that-some-people-got-what.html

Guy: So, she and her boyfriend got really drunk and, long story short, she now has to use a colostomy bag for the rest of her life.

University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida

Man: He’s been dating women he’s met online since back when it was creepy.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/hey_me_too.html

Overheard by: sherman

Macho dude in Student Government Association: I'll smite you with my boobs!

Cafeteria
Tunxis Community College, Connecticut

Overheard by: Girl in Black

18-year-old guy #1: Dude, I hate when she sticks her fingers in my ears.
18-year-old guy #2: Wait, so that doesn't turn you on?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/463269058/shes-just-trying-to-communicate.html

Overheard by: luke.

Mom: You wanna sleep in the bed with dad?
13-year-old boy: Why the hell would I do that? I’m 5’6″! That’s gay!

Baldwin Park, Florida

Overheard by: hmm… point taken.

Twelve-year-old boy to friend: I didn’t know bookstores had porn!
Friend: Dude, that’s Cosmo!

Barnes & Noble
Illinois

Guy with luggage: What’s the temperature tonight?
Guy without luggage: Two.
Guy with luggage: Two? Two! Why the fuck do people live here!?

Brown Line
Chicago, Illinois