Dude, Shut the Fuck Up

Guy to room: If I’m a feminist, do I have to hate men?

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: imnotinmedskool

Posted on April 28, 2025
Florida, Guys, Questions

Bad Things All Start Out Innocently Enough

Guy: Dude, I’ll hook you up. My wife is hot, but her friends are hotter.

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Posted on March 19, 2025
Beauty, Guys, Oklahoma

You Want to End Up on the Internet?

Boy #1: I’d never want to be a gynecologist. You’d get so sick of that you’d never want to see one.
Boy #2: Gynos put Vicks under their nose so they don’t have to smell it all day.
Boy #3: You are both nasty.
Boy #4: Stop this conversation. My mom is is the next room.

New Jersey

Posted on March 18, 2025
Guys, Jobs & Careers, New Jersey

Dude, at Denny’s That Gets You Free Coffee

Dude: Oh, great. Now I can be the asshole with a unibrow.

Denny’s
Portland, Maine

Overheard by: aimc

Posted on March 7, 2025
Guys, Hair, Maine

Bob Dole: “Not to Mention the Shame Of Textual Dysfunction.”

Guy #1: Hey, brother, can I ask you something? What is text messaging?
Guy #2: You don’t know what that is?
Guy #1: No… I was at this club the other night, and this fly young ho gave me digits and asked me to text her.
Guy #2: Damn, brother, you’re gonna have to get your nephew to teach you texting. It’s almost like e-mail, but on your cell phone. It has reply — now or later, and forward, if you wanna send it on to a brother.
Guy #1: I guess. I never heard of it before.
Guy #2: Yeah, nigga, if you wanna kick it with these young bitches you gotta learn to text.
Guy #1: How times have changed.
Guy #2: I know it, brother… Next thing you know, they’re gonna be textin’ you in bed. Text you their moans and shit. It is going to be the downfall of making love.

Restaurant, Long Island Marriott
New York

Overheard by: Stephen