Overheard Lines

Official: What experience do you have?
Job-seeker: I worked for 30 years on a poultry farm killing chickens.
Official: Have you done anything else?
Job-seeker: I killed turkeys.


Overheard by: o.b.

Lady: I don’t like her. She smells like the bottom of someone’s purse.


Overheard by: mk

Guy: You’re such a slut.
Chick: That’s what my tattoo says!


Overheard by: tim

Man at airport: I’m gonna go hug that kid. Maybe then his mom will start keeping an eye on him.


Overheard by: tim

Guy: Wouldn't it be funny if she was actually selling her baby down in Mexico, and she ended up on 48 Hours Mystery, and we could say we knew her when?
Girl: I don't think you understand comedy.


Overheard by: tim

Kid #1: This was the thing that made your penis hurt.
Kid #2: That was when I was littler.


Overheard by: diana

Girl at brunch: Are your parents from… anywhere?


Overheard by: tim

Guy: She’s Irish, so I really hope at some point she says: “Shut yer piehole!”
Girl: I could pay her ten bucks to say it, unless that violated the pie hole code.
Guy: First rule of pie hole: There is no pie hole code.


Overheard by: tim

Mom to little kid: How was Tae Kwon Do, honey? Did you learn how to break someone’s nose?


Overheard by: jeff

High school student: She’s a two faced bitch, but not in a bad way.


Overheard by: emily