Bob Dole: “Not to Mention the Shame Of Textual Dysfunction.”

Guy #1: Hey, brother, can I ask you something? What is text messaging?
Guy #2: You don’t know what that is?
Guy #1: No… I was at this club the other night, and this fly young ho gave me digits and asked me to text her.
Guy #2: Damn, brother, you’re gonna have to get your nephew to teach you texting. It’s almost like e-mail, but on your cell phone. It has reply — now or later, and forward, if you wanna send it on to a brother.
Guy #1: I guess. I never heard of it before.
Guy #2: Yeah, nigga, if you wanna kick it with these young bitches you gotta learn to text.
Guy #1: How times have changed.
Guy #2: I know it, brother… Next thing you know, they’re gonna be textin’ you in bed. Text you their moans and shit. It is going to be the downfall of making love.

Restaurant, Long Island Marriott
New York

Overheard by: Stephen

Posted on February 27, 2025
Guys, New York, Texting

Dad Still Isn't Talking to Me

Girl: T9 is responsible for so many mishaps. Once I tried to text someone “thanks for helping me”. Instead I typed “thanks for humping me.” It was bad!

Tacoma, Washington

Posted on May 25, 2023
Girls, Texting, Washington, Weirdness, Words

She's Wrong

Teen girl to friend: She doesn't even know what she wants! She just likes to text Scott because it makes her feel pretty.

Forever 21
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Posted on August 29, 2022
Default, Feelings, Girls, Names, Pennsylvania, Teens, Texting

But He's a Cat, Erica

Very serious, very excited young woman: He's finally becoming a person! He got Facebook and he texts full-sized messages!

Owatonna, Minnesota

Overheard by: feels sorry for those without technology…

Posted on May 30, 2022
Default, Internet, Minnesota, Stupidity, Texting, Women

A Simple Misunderstanding About the Meaning of “Gearhead”

Guy to friend: So now I get text messages from her every day saying she wants to fuck on the hood of my car!

Lehigh University
Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Timbo

Posted on August 23, 2021
Colleges & Universities, Default, Guys, Pennsylvania, Sex, Texting, Weirdness

But I Can

Ugly girl: So, what if I, like, texted him and said, ‘If you come out with us, I’ll have sex with you’?
Friend: You can’t do that.

Quincy Market bathroom
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Care

Posted on February 8, 2021
Chicks, Massachusetts, Texting

I Was All, “But I'm Texting You!”

Young college girl #1: How was your date last night?
Young college girl #2: Okay. I don't think I'm going out with him again, though.
Young college girl #1: Why?
Young college girl #2: He was weird. He asked me to quit texting while we were having dinner.
Young college girl #1: Rude!

Starbuck's
Fayetteville, Arkansas

Posted on February 13, 2016
Arkansas, Bars & Clubs, Offers and requests, Questions, Relationships, Sorority types, Texting, Weirdness

Notice the Bite Marks on My Shoulder

Girl: Kelly from work just texted me.
Guy: She's the really nice one, right?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Who's the one who's not nice?
Girl: Everyone else.

Frederick, Maryland

Posted on December 27, 2015
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Girls, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Maryland, Questions, Texting

I’m Saving My Mouth for Marriage

Middle-aged woman to friend: I will text the shit out of your ass, but I will not leave you a voicemail!

The Premiere Grill
Valparaiso, Indiana

Posted on November 24, 2015
Indiana, Ladies who lunch, Restaurants, Texting

But It Came with the ESP Feature

Teen guy #1: Fuck, my girlfriend hasn't texted me back in over two hours!
Teen guy #2: Do you even have your phone on you?
Teen guy #1: No, it's in the car.

Upper Hutt
New Zealand

Overheard by: Schmitty

Posted on April 30, 2009
Default, Gripes, Guys, New Zealand, Questions, Relationships, Teens, Texting