Overheard Lines

First It Was Stalling and Sputtering, and Now… Nothing

Loud girl in outdoor bar: My vagina’s not working tonight.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/06/she-must-be-in-good-union.html

Overheard by: katie

The Dust on His Floors

Chick: He loves to vacuum. No, wait, not vacuum. What’s that thing you do to your lawn? Mow! He likes to mow.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/04/girl-on-her-great-new-guy.html

Overheard by: mk

I Left You a Box of Chocolates in a Locker at the Airport

Office grunt: Valentine’s Day lunch is for people who are having affairs. I’ve worked every Valentine’s Day. The nights are all couples, but the days are all people who say they’re coworkers but then grab each other’s legs under the table.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/02/special-valentines-message-from-savvy.html

Overheard by: mk

When Scientists Have Pinata Parties

Teen to another: Man, there's DNA all over the streets!

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/08/overheard-near-crocker-galleria-but.html

Overheard by: jessica

The “Trick Question” on the C.I.A. Exam

Guy: I'm thinking of doing heroin, but just once. Do you think that's cool?

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2008/10/king-of-wise-decisions.html

Overheard by: Tim

Buddy, We’ve Got It Taken Care Of

Girl in sleeping bag outside music club to stranger walking by: Yeah, okay, we’re waiting for a Hanson concert. Wanna make fun of us now?

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/03/answer-is-yes.html

Overheard by: isaac

As Portrayed in the Screen Adaptation by Willem Dafoe

Dude #1: Saint Nicholas. Isn’t he the evil one?
Dude #2: No, Saint Nick is Santa Claus.
Dude #1: Oh, I must be thinking of John the Baptist.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/02/guy-thinking-ofsomeone.html

Overheard by: tim

But a Wise Man Would Have a Paddle Ready

Dude #1: So, you’re saying the moon is going to shrink to the size of a ping pong ball?
Dude #2: Yeah, but I’m not a scientist, so I can’t tell you how it’s going to happen.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/02/guy-on-muni-whos-what-then-psychic.html

Overheard by: tim

The Make-a-Wish Foundation Refused to Honor Robert's Request

Guy: I wish I had some big ol' titties so I could whack you in the face with 'em.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2008/10/guy-flirting-withattackingfantasizing.html

Overheard by: ladyoftheice

The Mustache?

30-something to another: Yeah, it's the same way I can tell you're a hipster. I can tell he's anti-semitic.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2008/10/guy-on-f-train-in-lower-manhattan.html

Overheard by: siobhan

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