Four-year-old to mom: Mom, you should get a new husband — one that will do more stuff with us. And Daddy can get a new wife — a skinny wife.
Orlando, Florida
Four-year-old to mom: Mom, you should get a new husband — one that will do more stuff with us. And Daddy can get a new wife — a skinny wife.
Orlando, Florida
Little Hispanic boy: I want more food.
Dad, calmly: Okay. We just have to get another plate.
Little Hispanic boy: But I want more food!
Dad: Okay! We just need to go get you another plate.
Little Hispanic boy: But I want more food!
Dad, yelling: I said ‘okay’! I just have to get you a new plate!
Little Hispanic boy, shocked: You yelled at me…
Dad: Well, I tried speaking to you like a white man, but you wouldn’t listen.
Chinese buffet
Reading, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Hole
Kid looking at periodic table of elements: Isn’t H2O up there somewhere?
Bowie High School
Austin, Texas
Mom: This is ridiculous! Why are you crying?
Wailing four-year-old: Because I have no reason left to live!
701 Russell Avenue
Gaithersburg, Maryland
Five-year-old boy holding red dress: Mommy! Mommy, look! I stealed this for you!
Macy’s
Stanford, California
Four-year-old girl: You look like a hooker.
Young mom, laughing: That’s not very nice. Where did you learn that.
Four-year-old girl: Hooker, hooker, hooker.
Young mom, annoyed: You watch too much TV.
Dressing room
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Because that IS Barneys favorite word…
Three-year-old boy: Mum, where is your vagina?
Mum: Tom, you know where it is…
Three-year-old boy: Ohhh, is that it, under all that hair?
Ladies’ room
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Anna
Mother: Derek, come back here!
Five-year-old: No! You can’t tell me what to do! I’m going to go gamble some more! [Runs off.]
CAT ferry from Nova Scotia to Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Misaki
Little girl, singing: Hey! I’m a crazy bitch, but I fuck so good you’re on top of it when you dream of doing me all night…
Father: What the fuck?! Are you trying to get taken by the social worker?!
Food Court, Connecticut Post Mall
Milford, Connecticut
Very serious little boy to distracted mother: Do you know why I want a solar-powered light saber? Because it’s dangerous!
Southwest YMCA, Quito Avenue
Saratoga, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl
