Should have used a condom

Little Hispanic boy: I want more food.
Dad, calmly: Okay. We just have to get another plate.
Little Hispanic boy: But I want more food!
Dad: Okay! We just need to go get you another plate.
Little Hispanic boy: But I want more food!
Dad, yelling: I said ‘okay’! I just have to get you a new plate!
Little Hispanic boy, shocked: You yelled at me…
Dad: Well, I tried speaking to you like a white man, but you wouldn’t listen.

Chinese buffet
Reading, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Hole

Kid looking at periodic table of elements: Isn’t H2O up there somewhere?

Bowie High School
Austin, Texas

Mom: This is ridiculous! Why are you crying?
Wailing four-year-old: Because I have no reason left to live!

701 Russell Avenue
Gaithersburg, Maryland

Five-year-old boy holding red dress: Mommy! Mommy, look! I stealed this for you!

Macy’s
Stanford, California

Four-year-old girl: You look like a hooker.
Young mom, laughing: That’s not very nice. Where did you learn that.
Four-year-old girl: Hooker, hooker, hooker.
Young mom, annoyed: You watch too much TV.

Dressing room
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Because that IS Barneys favorite word…

Three-year-old boy: Mum, where is your vagina?
Mum: Tom, you know where it is…
Three-year-old boy: Ohhh, is that it, under all that hair?

Ladies’ room
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Anna

Mother: Derek, come back here!
Five-year-old: No! You can’t tell me what to do! I’m going to go gamble some more! [Runs off.]

CAT ferry from Nova Scotia to Portland, Maine

Overheard by: Misaki

Little girl, singing: Hey! I’m a crazy bitch, but I fuck so good you’re on top of it when you dream of doing me all night…
Father: What the fuck?! Are you trying to get taken by the social worker?!

Food Court, Connecticut Post Mall
Milford, Connecticut

Very serious little boy to distracted mother: Do you know why I want a solar-powered light saber? Because it’s dangerous!

Southwest YMCA, Quito Avenue
Saratoga, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Kid: Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.
Mom: It’s not too late, is it?
Kid: No, I just let out a little stinker.

http://overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com/2006/07/cleanup-in-childrens-department.html