Man to friend: Let’s play the handicapped game — paralyzed, or just lazy?

Epcot Park, Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Dork #1: Yeah, but Super Mario had the princess…
Dork #2: I’d rather fuck the squirrel [in Sonic] than that square-ass bitch!

Overheard by: thomas

Friend #1: I just want a Dance Dance Revolution mat that won't skid around on the floor while I dance on it. I am thinking about covering my old one in an unskiddable material.
Friend #2: Well, you could try human skin.
Friend #1: Does it skid?
Friend #2: Only when wet.

Omaha, Nebraska.

Girl with fake sword to group of fifty kids with fake swords (prepping them before their war in the park): Today is not about living, today is about dying. You will die at least 100 times today. And you will love it!

Clark Park
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: afraid of kids

Nine-year-old girl, planning game: So he’ll be the priest, and you can be the wet nurse.

Mount Vernon, New York

Black guy: You keep hearing about how racist Britain's getting, it's pretty scary.
White girlfriend: Oh, totally. I think that before anyone in that country over 40 is allowed to make a public statement they should take a test that's like “is this quaint, or just racist?” and if they fail they shouldn't be allowed to say anything.
Black guy: That would be an awesome game show.


60-year-old journalism professor: Oh, the choking game? Heh… I play that all the time.

Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Tall adolescent: Peach sucks. Daisy's okay, but peach sucks.
Short adolescent: See, I've always been more of a toad fan. Even if he does look kind of like a circumcised wang.
Tall adolescent: Oh, you.

Missoula, Montana

Random board gamer: Settlers of Catan was created in the bowels of hell to make otherwise intelligent people say: “I have wood for sheep.”

Epoch Coffee
Austin, Texas

Student: Have you ever heard of the penis game?
Female professor: Which one? I've played many penis games.

Greek Myth Class
Illinois Wesleyan University

Overheard by: problem