Black guy: You keep hearing about how racist Britain’s getting, it’s pretty scary.
White girlfriend: Oh, totally. I think that before anyone in that country over 40 is allowed to make a public statement they should take a test that’s like “is this quaint, or just racist?” and if they fail they shouldn’t be allowed to say anything.
Black guy: That would be an awesome game show.


60‐year‐old journalism professor: Oh, the choking game? Heh… I play that all the time.

Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Tall adolescent: Peach sucks. Daisy’s okay, but peach sucks.
Short adolescent: See, I’ve always been more of a toad fan. Even if he does look kind of like a circumcised wang.
Tall adolescent: Oh, you.

Missoula, Montana

Random board gamer: Settlers of Catan was created in the bowels of hell to make otherwise intelligent people say: “I have wood for sheep.”

Epoch Coffee
Austin, Texas

Student: Have you ever heard of the penis game?
Female professor: Which one? I’ve played many penis games.

Greek Myth Class
Illinois Wesleyan University

Overheard by: problem

Asian woman: You know, I’m not normally a lesbian. I was just scoping out the competition last night!

New Zealand

Skinny Asian kid buying 24‐pack of Keystone Light, to friend: I dunno man. I’ve never played beer pong against a black dude before.

Overheard by: Ian

Male golfer to 20‐something son and his girlfriend: See, that’s the problem golfing with a female. If there are no women here, the world is your toilet!

The Magnolia Golf Course, DisneyWorld
Orlando, Florida

Girl on phone: Hey girl! I just got done lubricating my Rubik’s cube!

Overheard by: momo

Student: Somebody drew a triforce in the bathroom.
Teacher: There’s a penis in the hall and now a triforce in the bathroom?

English Class
Arcadia, California

Overheard by: Sam