Teen #1: Dude, gross!
Teen #2: Come on, man! Don’t act like that, you’ve wondered if it was worth it having your asshole licked during sex, too!
Teen #1: Yeah, but not by a fat Asian chick!
Stranger: Was it worth it?

Modern Skate and Surf
Royal Oak, Michigan

Straight girl: So then we were making out, and it was really good…
Gay guy #1: Wait, isn't this story supposed to be about how good he was at going down on you?
Straight girl: Oh, I'm getting there.
Gay guy #2: Yeah, okay, but this is really taking too long. Get to the point.
Gay guy #1: Seriously. I mean, we don't really like hearing about straight hookups anyway. It's gross. We're just humoring you.
Guy guy #3: This is like the longest pussy-eating story I've heard all day.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: TMI

Girl in car: Well, I guess Jesus is just going to have to go in between my legs.

Sunrise, Florida

Overheard by: Chez

Good looking dude, walking up to friend: Cunnilingus!
Good looking friend: And cunnilingus to you too.

Wits University
South Africa

Hipster girl: Don’t you dare lick me!
Hipster boy: [Licks her.]Hipster girl: I love you.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Guy to girlfriend: I like when we’re both using our laptops and I lick your nipple and it shocks me, like licking a nine-volt battery.

Palo Alto, California

Girl: Didn't I lick maple syrup off you once?
Guy: I thought I licked maple syrup off you.
Girl: Really?
Guy: Wait, no. It was honey.
Girl: Oh, yeah. Honey.

Norfolk, Virginia

Overheard by: Olivia

Sorority girl to another: All I'm saying is that it would be a lot better at home if you used less tongue.

Boulder, Colorado

Roommate #1 (about cat): Is she puking or is that butt licking?
Roommate #2: Butt licking.
Roommate #1: Good.

Champaign, Illinois

Overheard by: not enjoying either idea

Girl: I don’t like to be licked out of context.

New Rez common room