I’d Love to See That Resume

Cashier: Ok, you can step directly over to the salad tosser.
Surprised guy ordering: Her title is “Salad tosser”?

Arby’s Marketfresh
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on January 20, 2026
Employees, Euphemisms, Food, Georgia, Guys, Licking, Names, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants, Words

Sometimes You Do Know What You’re Missing

Little old lady to husband: I don’t care how many times you’ve washed it or how clean it is! I’ve lived 60 years without my tongue making acquaintance with your asshole, and I’m not about to introduce the two of them now!

St. Louis Street
Lebanon, Illinois

Overheard by: AlternknitiveKnitter

Posted on December 13, 2025
Ass, Body parts, Couples, Default, Gripes, Illinois, Licking, Old folks, Time Management

The Adult Version of “Got Your Nose”

Hot guy to hot girlfriend: I really liked it when you humped my face today… I think my nose even disappeared for a few seconds.

Whataburger
Plano, Texas

Overheard by: C.D.

Posted on September 10, 2025
Body parts, Compliments, Couples, Licking, Texas

Just to Dip My Celery Stalk in Her Bloody Mary

Drunk guy: Man, that girl was so hot, I’d eat her period!

Marina Del Rey, California

Overheard by: James Jameson

Posted on August 23, 2025
California, Drunks, Kink, Licking

Of Course

Frat boy: So, last night I had a dream, and I was eating pussy. Of course, it was a caramelized pussy…

Goshen, Connecticut

Overheard by: sweet and sour

Posted on August 4, 2025
Connecticut, Frat boy types, Gossip, Licking, Vagina

Of Course!

Teen #1: Dude, gross!
Teen #2: Come on, man! Don’t act like that, you’ve wondered if it was worth it having your asshole licked during sex, too!
Teen #1: Yeah, but not by a fat Asian chick!
Stranger: Was it worth it?

Modern Skate and Surf
Royal Oak, Michigan

Posted on August 16, 2023
Ass, Kink, Licking, Michigan, Strangers, Teens

So Gay Men Aren't the Target Demograpic for That?

Straight girl: So then we were making out, and it was really good…
Gay guy #1: Wait, isn't this story supposed to be about how good he was at going down on you?
Straight girl: Oh, I'm getting there.
Gay guy #2: Yeah, okay, but this is really taking too long. Get to the point.
Gay guy #1: Seriously. I mean, we don't really like hearing about straight hookups anyway. It's gross. We're just humoring you.
Guy guy #3: This is like the longest pussy-eating story I've heard all day.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: TMI