Bragging

Frat monkey: Here’s a naked pic of my girl [shows photo on cell]…
Drunk frat friend: Nice. [Pulls out his own cell.] Here’s a picture of my dick.

Caves Bar
Arlington, Texas

Overheard by: Not impressed

Guy: I’ve decided not to have an orgasm for the rest of the week.
Girl: God! Why?! You can’t have too many orgasms. It’s not like drinking too much!
Guy: I decide a lot of things.

Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Abstemious

Pilot over intercom, as plane touches down: … And the crowd goes wild! Woo-hoo!

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: errica

Man, about preteen: She was being such a good penguin that I wished that I had some extra fish to give her.

Delaware

Mormon girl #1: I totally can’t believe we just did that. I love it.
Mormon girl #2: We’re so scandalous.
Mormon girl #1: Well… We’re scandalous in an appropriate way.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: jules

Drunk queer: I can pick up a shot glass with my ass!

Outside Grand Central
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: widget

Bus driver: I can’t let you off here. You’ll get killed.
Thug: It’s cool, man. I got insurance!

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/and-duck-says.html

Overheard by: anonymous

Male bartender: So, let’s all take off our shirts and then you can take pictures of us.
Waitress: Oh, we already did that!

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/05/whatever_gets_you_bigger_tips.html

Overheard by: the next table over

Man jumping out of port-a-potty like a gymnast: … And he sticks the landing!

Campground
Connecticut

Overheard by: only at DRAM

Confused girl to another: You’re a man-whore? I’m a man-whore, too!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/12/big-honking-update.html

Overheard by: anonymous