Voluble man: Hey, blondie! Hey! Guess what? I’m the prettiest man on this here bus! I’m like Muhammad Ali! Get your degree, smoke your crack free, national American methiversity! Hey, blondie! Guess what? I gots the prettiest dick on this whole bus! You should come over and check it on up!
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/03/that_commercial_was_on_when_i.html
Overheard by: blondie
Drunk girl: I went to the University of Alabama, so you don’t have to tell me about sex.
Sammy’s
Raleigh, North Carolina
Girl on cell: Guess what? I got to be the big yellow cat again yesterday!
Hornsby train
Sydney
Australia
Drunk girl: I teach! I teach AP bio kids. They ask so many smart questions. (thoughtful pause) I make things up all the time.
Friend: You make things up??
Drunk girl: I just say “according to my research.” (shrugs, laughs hysterically)
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Guy trying to impress girl: So then I mastered a few languages, and after that it was pretty easy to get hired.
Girl: Oh wow! What languages?
Guy: C++.
Yellow Line Train
Washington, DC
Lesbian with terrible tie: I am the vanguard of the revolution.
Cozy Corner Diner & Pancake House
Chicago, Illinois
10-year-old: Hey, I think I’m swimming extra good tonight!
Friend: Yeah? Why is that?
10-year-old: I think it’s because we just got back from Red Lobster.
Waterford, Michigan
Overheard by: Gary Lewis
Teen Boy Scout (after narrowly avoiding tripping): And that's why I'm so good at swing dancing. I have hips like an angel.
Amtrack
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Duckie
Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain’t gonna lie, I got a big dick!
Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Has that ever worked?
Vice president: We’re all like kind of educated or whatever…
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: babygirl
