20‐something woman #1: I have mixed feelings about this bar and grill.
20‐something man: I hate this bar and grill.
20‐something woman #2: I’m gonna burn down this bar and grill!
Las Vegas, Nevada
Creepy lurky guy at bar (walking up and smelling girl sitting at table): Sorry y’all. Just smells really good.
Friend of girl (giving guy a dirty look): That was awkward.
Creepy lurky guy: Well, maybe you shouldn’t be here then.
Friend of girl: Well, maybe you shouldn’t be trying to smell us.
Blue Martini
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Ariola
Customer having lunch: Can I smoke at this table?
Waitress: Honey, you’re in Nevada. You can smoke, gamble, drink, screw and cuss. Just don’t kill nobody!
Bucket of Blood Saloon
Virgina City, Nevada
Overheard by: Philly Joe
60‐something guy, earnestly, to table full of seemingly level‐headed adults: They’re going to turn the moon into a weapon, the most powerful weapon ever…
Restaurant
Reno, Nevada
Overheard by: mini‐me
Girl one: Smell my face. Smell right here. Doesn’t it smell great? The stripper I got a lap dance from was wearing great perfume.
Girl two: It smells like pickles.
Toby Keith’s Restaurant
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: At least it doesn’t smell like tuna
Hungover conference attendee: Ugh, it’s early.
Appalled conference attendee, scooting chair away: You smell like a dead hooker covered in alcoholic bum piss. And avocado.
Conference Center
Las Vegas, Nevada
Cabbie: Hey, ever get the urge to just whip out your puppies for the driver?
Girl: Um, no. (several minutes later, while getting out) Cabbie whores!
Las Vegas, Nevada
Guy, telling everyone about a massage: You know how grandma’s hands are real soft?
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Craig
