Man: Man, I’d like to have been around when Jesus put all them dinosaurs here. I figure that woulda been pretty cool.
Friend: Yeah, that woulda been cool.

Canyonlands National Park
Moab, Utah

Overheard by: Iain

Bimbette #1: Why would anyone even be outside that late? What the hell were they doing?
Bimbette #2: Uh, Erica, we were outside, too.
Bimbette #1: Well, we had an excuse! We were streaking!

Park City, Utah

Checker, as customer places avocados on the belt: Are these lemons?

Grocery Store
Centerville, Utah

Overheard by: JC

Squidward Moved to Utah for Religious Reasons

Girl to guy wearing alien-hand gloves: What the hell are those?
Guy: They're my testicles… No! My… My… Test–test… The things that octopuses have!
Girl: Tentacles?
Guy: Yes! Tentacles…

High School

Overheard by: Weskimo

Little girl: Mom, why isn’t my last name ‘Christ’? Why doesn’t everyone have the last name ‘Christ’?

Hill Air Force Base

Overheard by: Wasn’t his middle name H?

Hoochie, about guy she met on a band trip: He was gorgeous, with a dick as big as my arm! [Notices band class is listening] Oh, my bad.

High school

Woman on cell: No no no…I haven't been doing much shopping at all. The only thing I've bought is a fur dog collar. It was only $300!

Park City, Utah

Lady 1: So they're getting married now.
Lady 2: But I thought she had a baby.
Lady 1: Yes, but it's his brother's. See, her sister wanted to be with him so she told him her sister couldn't have normal children. It turns out she's the one who can't have children.
Lady 2: Oh… so they're getting married?

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: Confused listener

20-something girl: If I had a penis I wouldn't know what to do with it. Awkward.
20-something guy: If I had a vagina I'd stick all kinds of weird stuff in it all the time!

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: akvinsc

Boy: Why do you wear that on your head?
Muslim girl, indifferently: So the aliens don't read my brain.

High School

Overheard by: I need one of those!