Utah

Girl: Can you tell me where the bathroom is?
Woman: Yeah, it’s at the end of this hallway. Just don’t look in the cage there.

Highland, Utah

Overheard by: A tiny bit worried…!

Coworker #1: I don’t even know what on a penis you would even pierce.
Coworker #2: I don’t, either. Let me text my brother-in-law and ask him. Maybe I can get him to send us a picture of his.

Eye clinic
Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: also interested

Student: What does ‘STP’ stand for?
Teacher: ‘Standard temperature and pressure.’ Also, ‘Stone Temple Pilots.’

Chemistry class
Provo, Utah

Girl on date: That’s what I don’t understand about dating — if I really like someone, I’m not going to wait to call them. Like, I would totally call you tomorrow.
Boy on date: [Silence.]Girl on date: Or, you know, whenever…

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: Andrea P.

Mormon girl #1: I totally can’t believe we just did that. I love it.
Mormon girl #2: We’re so scandalous.
Mormon girl #1: Well… We’re scandalous in an appropriate way.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: jules

Man: Man, I’d like to have been around when Jesus put all them dinosaurs here. I figure that woulda been pretty cool.
Friend: Yeah, that woulda been cool.

Canyonlands National Park
Moab, Utah

Overheard by: Iain

Bimbette #1: Why would anyone even be outside that late? What the hell were they doing?
Bimbette #2: Uh, Erica, we were outside, too.
Bimbette #1: Well, we had an excuse! We were streaking!

Park City, Utah

Checker, as customer places avocados on the belt: Are these lemons?

Grocery Store
Centerville, Utah

Overheard by: JC

Squidward Moved to Utah for Religious Reasons

Girl to guy wearing alien-hand gloves: What the hell are those?
Guy: They're my testicles… No! My… My… Test–test… The things that octopuses have!
Girl: Tentacles?
Guy: Yes! Tentacles…

High School
Utah

Overheard by: Weskimo

Little girl: Mom, why isn’t my last name ‘Christ’? Why doesn’t everyone have the last name ‘Christ’?

Hill Air Force Base
Utah

Overheard by: Wasn’t his middle name H?