Bimbette #1: Is Norwegian to Swedish like English to Spanish?
Bimbette #2: No, it’s like… Like… It’s like Spanish to Italian.
Bimbette #1: Ohhh. Wait, isn’t Italian a dead language?
Bimbette #2: Ummm, I think that’s Latin.
Bimbette #1: Ohhh. You know, my Spanish teacher once told me I was like the scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Denim on Denim
Naked guy with cock ring and whip: So, what are we doing later this evening?
Boyfriend with nipple rings, dog collar, padlock, and leash: We’re going to my parents’ for dinner, remember?
Naked guy: Oh, right. Your dad asked me to help him with the aquarium.
Boyfriend, looking at huge dildos: And I want to help my mom finish the quilt she’s working on. And we should mulch the rose garden while we’re there, too.
Folsom Street Fair
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: cultural tourist
Frustrated mom: For the love of God, stop crying! If you don’t stop, I’m going to shove you back in my uterus, close my legs, and never let you out!
Crying little boy: No! I don’t like it in there!
San Francisco, California
Stoner chick: Some people get offended when I tell them I don’t want to be a lesbian during certain times of the year.
Bakersfield, California
Drunk blonde to brunette friend: I don’t think I can fuck tonight. I have a stinky pussy.
The West House Bar
Roseville, California
Boyfriend: You want to hang out after your last class?
Girlfriend: I can’t. I have to get a Tetris shot.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Emily
Teen girl: Tina*, this corn husk totally feels like your vagina hair!
World’s Largest Corn Maze
Dixon, California
Overheard by: Leslie
Dominatrix: I don’t do anything sexual to my clients. All I do is stick things up their asses.
Street fair
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Nine-year-old on Journey to Atlantis ride: Now we’re going to see the Sea Lord!
19-year-old next to him: Really? That sounds scary…
Nine-year-old: Yeah, he’s angry.
19-year-old: He’s angry? Why?
Nine-year-old: Because he doesn’t like flash photography.
Sea World
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Delilah Bloom
Dude: My testicles are like cue balls…
The Arclight
Los Angeles, California
