Young boy to mom: I can’t run! I’m a virgin!
Irvine, California
Young boy to mom: I can’t run! I’m a virgin!
Irvine, California
Five-year-old girl running through aisles: Mommy?! Mommy?!
Mother: Mommy die. Mommy go bye-bye. Mommy drowned. Mommy go kill herself.
Payless Shoes
Huntington Beach, California
Girl #1: It would just never occur to me to get a massage to relax or de-stress, you know?
Girl #2 absentmindedly: That’s because you’re an alcoholic.
Seven Grand Whiskey Bar
Los Angeles, California
Dude drawing names and heart in wet cement: Done.
Girl: Oh my god, that’s awesome. I’m gonna take a picture with my phone so it can be the image that comes up when you call. Right now it’s your dick in a box.
Dude: Yeah, this is– Wait, you have a picture of my dick in a box?
Girl: Yeah. Remember?
Dude: Oh, yeah, that’s right…
UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: nathan
Drunk guy: Hey.
Passerby: Hey, how’s it going?
Drunk guy: You know when you meet that hot, cool girl and then you get drunk and turn into an asshole and she ditches you? Well, that’s where I am right now.
Passerby: Okay, well, good luck.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: some random chic
Bimbette #1: Is Norwegian to Swedish like English to Spanish?
Bimbette #2: No, it’s like… Like… It’s like Spanish to Italian.
Bimbette #1: Ohhh. Wait, isn’t Italian a dead language?
Bimbette #2: Ummm, I think that’s Latin.
Bimbette #1: Ohhh. You know, my Spanish teacher once told me I was like the scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Denim on Denim
Naked guy with cock ring and whip: So, what are we doing later this evening?
Boyfriend with nipple rings, dog collar, padlock, and leash: We’re going to my parents’ for dinner, remember?
Naked guy: Oh, right. Your dad asked me to help him with the aquarium.
Boyfriend, looking at huge dildos: And I want to help my mom finish the quilt she’s working on. And we should mulch the rose garden while we’re there, too.
Folsom Street Fair
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: cultural tourist
Frustrated mom: For the love of God, stop crying! If you don’t stop, I’m going to shove you back in my uterus, close my legs, and never let you out!
Crying little boy: No! I don’t like it in there!
San Francisco, California
Stoner chick: Some people get offended when I tell them I don’t want to be a lesbian during certain times of the year.
Bakersfield, California
Drunk blonde to brunette friend: I don’t think I can fuck tonight. I have a stinky pussy.
The West House Bar
Roseville, California
