California

Newbie: How do I know when the French toast is done?
Supervisor: When it looks like French toast.

Oceanview Terrace dining hall, UCSD
San Diego, California

Girl: Have you read Derrida?
Guy: Who?
Girl: Derrida! If you’re going to go to France and get laid, you’ve got to know who Derrida is.

Berkeley BART
California

Overheard by: Rhiannon Stone

Creepster: There are so many internet cats in my life I can’t keep them all straight!

301 Heller Drive
Santa Cruz, California

Guy to girlfriend: I wasn’t rooting for you. I was rooting for the hyenas.

Monterey, California

Overheard by: me too

Skinny blonde: So, yeah, my mom is dating this new guy who’s just kind of awkward and nerdy and, well, he’s just really bad at socialism.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Molly and Katy

Crazy hobo passing out flyers: The animals eat the vegetables, and we are the minerals…
Girl, rejecting flyer: No, thanks. I’ve got one already.
Crazy hobo: You’re a communist transvestite on Mars!

Isla Vista, California

Hobo: Wow, you look just like Billy Idol!
Blonde: Um, thanks.
Hobo: No, really. You look good, girl. Wanna share some of my wine?
Blonde: Um, no thanks. I’m good.

San Diego, California

Pushy rug salesman: Look at these beautiful rugs! How great would they look in your home?
Woman: Yeah, you know, I don’t really need a rug…
Pushy rug salesman: Well, nobody needs a rug!
Woman, angrily: Well, then why are you selling them, sir?!

671 South La Brea Avenue
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: I don’t really need a rug, either

Professor: Okay, this appears to be advertising for a brand of malt liquor. Who here drinks malt liquor?
Only black guy in class: Me!
Professor, laughing: Okay, Martin drinks malt liquor.
Black guy: Brothers drink malt liquor!
Professor, laughing: That’s right, brothers drink malt liquor!

Anthropology class, UCLA
Los Angeles, California

Lady to hubby: So, I’ve finally decided: for my interviews I’m not gonna get a new purse. I’m just gonna get a really nice fanny pack.

Pacifica, California