Do You Want to Go to Epcot? Do You?

Mother to daughter: You don’t want to piss me off in the happiest place on earth!

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Posted on March 4, 2026
Advice, California, Compare and contrast, Geography, Happiness, Kids, Moms, Pop culture

Um, Are These Khakis on Sale?

Retail lady: He fucked me really hard last night. When I woke up all this liquid came out.

Banana Republic
Orange County, California

Posted on March 2, 2026
California, Cum, Employees, Etiquette, Stores, Weirdness, Women

To Recap: I Rock, You Suck for Money, I Get Laid for Free

Ex-husband: I can’t believe you brought a date to our divorce hearing.
Ex-wife: Fuck you! You hooked up with a girl in court.
Ex-husband: I didn’t “hook-up” with her, we made plans for lunch today.
Ex-wife: And that’s better?
Ex-husband: Actually, it’s quite impressive. I rock, you suck, I’m getting laid tonight.
Ex-wife: I got laid last night.
Ex-husband: That’s because you are a dirty hooker.

San Diego Family Court
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Sean

Posted on February 28, 2026
Bragging, California, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Guys, Insults, Pride, Relationships, Sex, Violence, Women

I Have a Vague Conception of the Mechanics from Video Games

Nerdy guy: Apparently it somehow involves running, but I’ve never ran before so I don’t know how.

UCLA Ackerman Terminal
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Juanito

Posted on February 20, 2026
California, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Weirdness

Oh Yeah, Grindhouse Is Just Dripping With Tolstoy

TA: It’s like Anna Karenina in two hours, with shotguns and Satan.

UCSC
Santa Cruz, California

Posted on February 17, 2026
Books, California, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Evil, Students, Violence

But That Evangelist Preacher Already Bought All the Harnesses

Woman to man: She said that if she leaves her husband, I can have the handcuffs.

UC Berkeley’s campus
Berkeley, California

Posted on February 15, 2026
California, Colleges & Universities, Friends, Gifts, Guys, Offers and requests, Relationships, Women

Americans Have Always Been More Interested in Style Than in Content

British professor: I was walking around Oxford one day and I heard these two young lads, couldn’t have been more than eight, say “bitches and hoes.”
Student: Could you please say that phrase again?
British professor: … No.

University of San Diego
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Leah

Posted on February 15, 2026
California, Colleges & Universities, Education, Etiquette, Foreigners, Insults, Kids, Offers and requests, Students, Teachers, Wishes

It Could Be Related to the Drinking, But I’ll Need to Do More Empirical Tests

Dude #1: Man, I got so drunk on Saturday.
Dude #2: Did you pee your pants again?
Dude #1: No. [Dude #2 stares at him.] … Yes.
Dude #2: What’s wrong with you?
Dude #1: I don’t know.

Lake View Terrace, California