Dude: I went to pet her and she opened up her mouth and my hand went straight in!
Aptos
Central Coast, California
Dude: I went to pet her and she opened up her mouth and my hand went straight in!
Aptos
Central Coast, California
Distraught mom on cell: I’ll sum up my vacation in one sentence: Ian punched Goofy in the nuts!
Bus to the Magic Kingdom
California
Overheard by: disneymom
Bimbette #1: Remember when you thought Mexico was just a state that you couldn’t go to?
Bimbette #2: Yeah. I didn’t know it was actually a different continent.
Oceanside, California
Student #1 seeing friend drinking Monster energy drink: Oh, I’ve never had a Monster. Can I have a taste?
Student #2: You don’t want to taste his AIDS-infested Monster!
Student #1, after long pause: Never. Say that. Again. Ever.
Doughnut shop
Huntington Beach, California
Marine: So, things were going really well until he blew the tranny.
Twentynine Palms, California
Hobo, pointing to passerby: God is going to cum all over your face!
Westwood Village
Los Angeles, California
Bisexual girl: So, you wanna go out some time?
Chick: Um, I don’t swing that way when I’m sober.
Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California
Dock worker #1: Well, personally, I prefer a nice, stiff rod.
Dock worker #2: Really, a stiff one?
Dock worker #3: I’ve got a stiff rod for you, motherfucker.
Dock worker #1: We’re talking about bass fishing here, asshole.
Safeway
Tracy, California
Overheard by: Ken Lane
Chick: What’s your background?
Girl with laptop: … Uh, I’m part Korean…
Chick: No, I meant on your computer.
Idyllwild, California
Chick to friend: Seriously, smell my face!
University Village
Riverside, California
