Woman to man: She said that if she leaves her husband, I can have the handcuffs.
UC Berkeley’s campus
Berkeley, California
Woman to man: She said that if she leaves her husband, I can have the handcuffs.
UC Berkeley’s campus
Berkeley, California
British professor: I was walking around Oxford one day and I heard these two young lads, couldn’t have been more than eight, say “bitches and hoes.”
Student: Could you please say that phrase again?
British professor: … No.
University of San Diego
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Leah
Dude #1: Man, I got so drunk on Saturday.
Dude #2: Did you pee your pants again?
Dude #1: No. [Dude #2 stares at him.] … Yes.
Dude #2: What’s wrong with you?
Dude #1: I don’t know.
Lake View Terrace, California
Teen girl wearing a warm jacket: Hey, Kim.
Kim: [Wearing pretty much nothing.] Oooh, you look warm! Can I put my hand inside you?
Los Angeles, California
Six-year-old girl, gyrating hips: Mommy! Mommy! This is how babies are made!
Mother: That’s nice.
Gap Store, Stanford Shopping Center
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: this is why I don’t shop at the gap
Professor: So what sorts of people travel abroad and exploit children that are forced into prostitution?
Student: Canadians.
[Class remains silent and professor stares.]Student: …I… Was just kidding.
Las Positas College
Livermore, California
Mother, shouting at her child: You get mad at me for the things I don’t do, and you never appreciate the things I do do!
Little girl: Hahaha, you said doodoo!
Los Angeles, California
Middle school chick: Sir, are you married?
Substitute teacher: That’s a very personal question. That’s like if I asked you, “Has it started yet?”
Terman Middle School
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: heerothewizard
Woman: It was a disaster. The bride was doing back-bends in the parking lot.
Gym
Studio City, California
Overheard by: urzzz
Cute girl to other cute girls: Yeah, she needs a couple more months in LA until we can be friends with her…
Los Angeles, California
