California

Student, spreading arms wide: I hate you this much!
Teacher: Well, that’s certainly less than earlier.

High school
Arcadia, California

Overheard by: The Know It All

Freshman girl on phone: You're not gonna get HIV from kissing some random… (pause) What? (pause) Well, does he have sores on his lips?

UCSB Dorms
California

Overheard by: KLaugh

Student, as professor walks into classroom: Tomorrow's Earth Day!
Professor: Yesterday was 4/20!

Classroom, College of Marin
Marin County, California

Government teacher: The finance committee is sexy. Who wants to be part of the education committee, anyway? They're lame.

High School
Los Angeles, California

Teen girl #1: How was econ today?
Teen girl #2, indignantly: We actually learned something, I was so bummed…

Beverly Hills High School
Beverly Hills, California

Overheard by: zen

Professor: I mean, what’s with getting to know them? What about: You see someone, you don’t even talk, you penetrate them.

UCLA
Los Angeles, CA

Girl to guys talking about their Easter candy: You know, I just want to point out that you’re both 23 and still getting Easter candy from your parents.
Guy #1: Hey, it’s not like I asked for it!
Guy #2: And besides, it’s not from my mom. It’s from the bunny.

PETCO Park
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Danette

Marine #1: So, how was it?
Marine #2: Crazy. She wanted me to take a shit in her pussy. That’s fucking weird, man.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Soundbite Lover

Suit on cell: I don’t know much about this party he’s throwing, other than he got me a pregnant stripper.

Del Monte Shopping Center
Monterey, California

Overheard by: Amy

Woman screaming into phone: You need to chill the fuck out!

San Francisco, California