Mrs. Claus’s Given Name Was Derek

Little boy to big sister walking behind him: Do you believe in Santa?
Big sister: No! Keep walking.
[big sister shoves him].
Little brother: I heard Santa dislikes girls.

County Fair
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: jake

Posted on January 14, 2026
California, Girls, Kids, Questions, Santa Claus, Siblings, Tourist attractions

In L.A., Teenage Girls Who Don’t Look Good Naked Are Put to Death

Teen girl #1, looking at hot teen guy’s myspace page: He likes me.
Teen girl #2: No, he doesn’t.
Teen girl #1: Yes, he does. He told me I’d look good naked.
Teen girl #2: Well, that’s just a fact. It doesn’t mean he likes you.

Los Angeles, California

Posted on January 13, 2026
Beauty, Bragging, California, Comebacks, Compliments, Friends, Girls, Pride, Sexuality, Teens

Almost Like She Thinks I’m a Smartass

Guy #1: I think I fucked up my chance with Jen.
Guy #2: Why? what did you do?
Guy #1: Well she’s religious, and she sent me a text today that says, “I get real emotional on Good Friday.” so I write back, ‘I get real emotional on filet-o-fish Fridays.’ She hasn’t responded since.

Burbank, California

Overheard by: James Jameson

Posted on January 10, 2026
California, Christianity, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Friends, Guys, Holidays

…and a Pussy

Blonde clone: It’s not that we’re both Leos. He’s just a dick.

Westfield Mall
San Diego, California

Posted on December 30, 2025
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Insults, Malls, Penis, Relationships, Sexuality

Might Want to Start Off with “I’m Straight.”

Girl: Look, you have to tell her.
Guy: I can’t tell her! I’ve kept this for so long!
Girl: If she really loves you that much she’ll understand.
Guy: How can I tell the girl that I love that I don’t like musicals?!

Bruin Walk, UCLA
California

Overheard by: if that’s the worst thing in your relationship…

Posted on December 26, 2025
Advice, California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Fears, Girls, Guys, Movies, Relationships

He Works in a 7-Eleven, So He’s Used to It

Marine to friend: So, it’s like a long story. But basically my mom shot my boyfriend.

CostCo
VictorVille, California

Posted on December 23, 2025
California, Crimes, Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Friends, Military, Murder, Relationships, Women

A Secret Tile Factory

Woman: I had this brother who, like, wanted to be spy so he could speak like speak ten different languages and go on top secret missions and crap like that. Now he works in a tile factory.

Borders
Sunnyvale, California