California

Guy #1: I would sacrifice myself to save the rest of the world. Wouldn't you?
Guy #2: Naw, man. Fuck the world.

Chino, California

Little old lady: I’m not a Pina Colada type. Give me a Coors Light and a nice doobie and I’m good.

Women’s Gym
Studio City, California

Overheard by: urzzz

Female student: I feel like I have a really tough skin, because I was always teased by my dad from the moment I was born.
Male student (in very serious, philosophical tone): Scorn was your breast milk.

University of Southern California

Overheard by: Got milk?

Hippie guy: Did you know he built a whole, like, bum encampment out of logs? Two houses, a refrigerator… Well, there was no electricity but he had a refrigerator out there… He even had a guest bed. And it was all clean, with a bible laying on the bed… He took being a bum to a whole new level.

Humboldt State University
Arcata, California

Overheard by: Jenn

Young woman on cell: I kiss my grandpa on the mouth, have I made out with him?

Palo Alto, California

Girl #1: Does she need a green card?
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: So he just loves her?

Los Angeles, California

Liberal #1: Cut off her head!
Liberal #2: No! Then she wouldn’t feel any of the pain!
Liberal #1: Yeah, you’re right… I suppose you could cut her head off half-way…
Passerby: Um, I don’t mean to interrupt, but, um, what are you talking about?
Liberal #1: How to kill Ann Coulter.
Liberal #2: Is that bad?
Passerby: Oh, no, continue! By all means, please!

After concert at Hollywood Bowl
Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Argonath

Professor: When thinking about a case, you have to start by listing all the parties. You go, “We are the plaintiffs, the mighty, mighty plaintiffs…”

Law School
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: MaggieB

Girl: I wish I had a lovable face. My face is deceitful.

Bakersfield, California

Overheard by: Sarah

Mom: I don't wanna be finding knives in the lawn anymore!
20-year-old son: Where's my sword?

San Diego, California

Overheard by: tab