Marine to friend: So, it’s like a long story. But basically my mom shot my boyfriend.
CostCo
VictorVille, California
Marine to friend: So, it’s like a long story. But basically my mom shot my boyfriend.
CostCo
VictorVille, California
Woman: I had this brother who, like, wanted to be spy so he could speak like speak ten different languages and go on top secret missions and crap like that. Now he works in a tile factory.
Borders
Sunnyvale, California
Two-year-old, pointing at car: Mercedes!
Putt-Putt Mini Golf
Beverly Hills, California
Overheard by: McF
Well-dressed older lady: That’s definitely one of the better diphthongs.
Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Pilot to passengers: Welcome to Hawaii! I’m going to tell you all what my mom told me when I turned 18: get your bags and get out.
Direct flight from Seattle, Washington to Oakland, California
Chatty chick: … And he called me a drunk! I mean, I am a drunk, but I’m a functional drunk. I told him everyone loves drunks but nobody loves a crackhead… I don’t even care if I get a beer belly! Someone will still love me and rub my beer belly!
22 Fillmore bus
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: melissa
Pilot to passengers: If you kids don’t calm down right now and stop throwing those damn pillows, I will turn this plane around and I will take you back to Mexico!
1999 flight from Cancun to San Francisco, California
Overheard by: the end of senior trip
Dude: I don’t like watching anything set from the olden days. You know, like Bridget Jones’ Diary… Or anything British.
Blockbuster
California
Overheard by: Define olden days
Professor, about PowerPoint: You guys don’t have this slide in your notes… Hahaha!
UC Davis Vet School
California
Guy shouting out dorm window: We’ve got dicks! Yeahhh! Woo-hoo!
University of California, Davis
California
