Who Knew Organic Chemists Were So Funky?

Professor: I’m just waiting for a chlorine radical to come and bite me up the ass.

Morraine Valley Community College
Palos Hills, Illinois

Overheard by: Kati

Posted on November 23, 2014
Ass, Class, Default, Education, Illinois, Science, Teachers, Wishes, Words

But I’m Not Sure I Was Making Any Sense

Communications professor: Do you think you’ve made any progress in this class?
Student who just gave her speech: Well, my butt cheeks weren’t shaking this time!

Community college
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Some progress is better than none.

Posted on November 21, 2014
Ass, Class, Pennsylvania, Students, Teachers

Which Is Why They Call It V-E Half-Day

Professor: So, how did the baby boom come about?
Student: When a–
Professor: –You don’t need to actually walk me through it. In the late 1940s, everybody was becoming a mother. Okay, half of everybody.

University of North Florida
Jacksonville, Florida

Posted on November 14, 2014
Class, Florida, History, Students, Teachers

Nothing Like Taking an Exam in the Afterglow

Frat boy #1: I already jacked off three times today!
Frat boy #2: Sweet! That’s what I’m going to do as soon as I finish this test.
Frat boy #1: Maybe I should just go rub one out in the bathroom now… [He leaves the room.]

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/01/breaks-broke.html

Overheard by: Maxwell

Posted on September 18, 2014
Class, Frat boy types, Masturbation, Overheard at Cornell

Also, Instead of Lab Equipment, I’ve Purchased Myself Extra Scotch

Poli-Sci professor putting a picture of a panda bear on overhead projector: Well, normally we’d talk about the syllabus right now, but our department’s so cheap they couldn’t print a syllabus for each of you, so I’ll show you a picture of a panda instead.

http://www.overheardinathens.com/search?query=panda

Posted on June 21, 2014
Class, Education, Overheard in Athens, Teachers

Hamburgers, That’s How

Non-native presenting for speech class: Everyone has cows in their life. Cows at home. Cows at work. Cows in our families. Cows can take over everything. But how do we get rid of the cows?
Teacher: Chaos. It’s pronounced ‘chaos.’

Truman College
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on June 7, 2014
Class, Foreigners, Illinois, Language barrier, Teachers

I Think I Can Dig Up Some Gay Porn to Support That Thesis

Hippie student: So, did the oil man and thong man work together?
Professor: One could only hope.

Archaeology class
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/more-more-more.html

Overheard by: squirrely mcsquirrel

Posted on November 28, 2013
Class, Education, Hippies, Overheard at Cornell, Students, Teachers

People Say They Lack Focus

Student giving presentation: There’s also astigmatism on people who are poor…

Wright State University
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: thinks he meant

Posted on November 10, 2013
Class, Maladies, Ohio, Students, Stupidity

He Made His Millions Off Kant’s Death

Philosophy professor: … And Hegel scheduled all of his classes at the same time as Schoepenhauer’s classes, which really pissed off Schoepenhauer because Hegel was like the P. Diddy of 19th century German philosophy.

Bucknell University
Lewisburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Jen

Posted on November 9, 2013
Class, History, Pennsylvania, Pop culture, Teachers

I Think I’m Winning

Professor to puzzled student: You said one thing I didn’t understand, so I something you didn’t understand right back… God, I’m cruel.

Robinson Hall, University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware

Posted on November 9, 2013
Class, Delaware, Education, Teachers

Class