Professor: So, how did the baby boom come about?
Student: When a–
Professor: –You don’t need to actually walk me through it. In the late 1940s, everybody was becoming a mother. Okay, half of everybody.
University of North Florida
Jacksonville, Florida
Frat boy #1: I already jacked off three times today!
Frat boy #2: Sweet! That’s what I’m going to do as soon as I finish this test.
Frat boy #1: Maybe I should just go rub one out in the bathroom now… [He leaves the room.]
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/01/breaks-broke.html
Overheard by: Maxwell
Poli-Sci professor putting a picture of a panda bear on overhead projector: Well, normally we’d talk about the syllabus right now, but our department’s so cheap they couldn’t print a syllabus for each of you, so I’ll show you a picture of a panda instead.
http://www.overheardinathens.com/search?query=panda
Non-native presenting for speech class: Everyone has cows in their life. Cows at home. Cows at work. Cows in our families. Cows can take over everything. But how do we get rid of the cows?
Teacher: Chaos. It’s pronounced ‘chaos.’
Truman College
Chicago, Illinois
Hippie student: So, did the oil man and thong man work together?
Professor: One could only hope.
Archaeology class
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/more-more-more.html
Overheard by: squirrely mcsquirrel
Philosophy professor: … And Hegel scheduled all of his classes at the same time as Schoepenhauer’s classes, which really pissed off Schoepenhauer because Hegel was like the P. Diddy of 19th century German philosophy.
Bucknell University
Lewisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jen
Professor to puzzled student: You said one thing I didn’t understand, so I something you didn’t understand right back… God, I’m cruel.
Robinson Hall, University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Lab TA: This is bromium chloride. If you have guys in your group, have them work with it. If not, girls, I hope you’re not pregnant. It tends to cause birth defects and cancer.
Chick #1 in back of room, whispering: You guys, I can’t touch that stuff!
Chick #2: Why not? Are you pregnant?
Chick #1: You see, that’s the thing — I don’t know…
Oklahoma State University
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: She’s majoring in drunken sorority girl
Girl in front: Hey! I can shoot a cat as well as the next girl!
Normandale Community College
Bloomington, Minnesota
Overheard by: who questions that ability??
