Professor to class (during tasting session): Anybody getting any wood on this one?
Wine Appreciation 101
University of Houston, Texas
Art history professor: Those long ship voyages… you're looking at the sheep, the sheep's looking back at you, and “hey!”
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Professor, during a discussion about Lear’s daughters in King Lear: well, don’t you guys ever lie?
(class stays silent)
Professor: You all lie, especially the girls.
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Professor: The dew line -by the way, any Rush fans in here?
(three or four raise hands in a class of 200)
Professor: Only three? That’s a sad state of affairs.
Canadian History Lecture
University of Toronto
Canadia
Chemistry lecturer: Is it just me, or are those people getting more and more naked up the back there?
Melbourne University
Australia
Girl, observing a display of plush microbes: I want herpes! I think it’s so cute!
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Student: So if I, like, read something in the library and I memorize it, am I, like, stealing it with my mind?
Instructor: Yes. You can steal things with your mind.
Copy Editing Class
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Male art student: I’m in a creative writing class and I’ve been writing a lot of stories about mayonnaise.
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Jewish man: I am not sexist!
Jewish man’s friend: You are so sexist Archie Bunker is embarrassed.
Jewish man: I’m not sexist. I’ll stab a chick in her junk!
Israeli Martial Arts Class
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Ari
