Guy #1, standing in front of classroom: So he walked up to me and was like, “Dude, do you want a donut?” and of course I was like, “yeah.”
Guy #2: Well, yeah. I love donuts too.
Guy #1: So then he whips out this trash bag and it's filled to the top with donuts. So I took this one off the top and started eating it, and then I realized, dude! Where the hell did you get a trash bag full of donuts?
Guy #2: Woah. Where'd he go?!
Hanover, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Emmeline
Teacher: So this equation is like a machine. You substitute “n” for “-5” and it gives you the product. It's like a sausage-making machine…
Math Class
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
Art history professor: Those long ship voyages… you're looking at the sheep, the sheep's looking back at you, and “hey!”
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Professor, during a discussion about Lear’s daughters in King Lear: well, don’t you guys ever lie?
(class stays silent)
Professor: You all lie, especially the girls.
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Professor: The dew line -by the way, any Rush fans in here?
(three or four raise hands in a class of 200)
Professor: Only three? That’s a sad state of affairs.
Canadian History Lecture
University of Toronto
Canadia
Chemistry lecturer: Is it just me, or are those people getting more and more naked up the back there?
Melbourne University
Australia
Girl, observing a display of plush microbes: I want herpes! I think it’s so cute!
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Student: So if I, like, read something in the library and I memorize it, am I, like, stealing it with my mind?
Instructor: Yes. You can steal things with your mind.
Copy Editing Class
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
