Professor: Can anyone give me an example of an equal relationship?
Student: Husband and wife?
Professor: Oh, you’re so idealistic…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Professor: Can anyone give me an example of an equal relationship?
Student: Husband and wife?
Professor: Oh, you’re so idealistic…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Philosophy professor: Whatever you do guys, you can’t let Descartes come through the back door!
Students: [Laugh hysterically.]Philosophy professor: It’s not funny! Descartes always tries to come through the back door!
University of Portland
Oregon
Overheard by: B Student
Professor: So what sorts of people travel abroad and exploit children that are forced into prostitution?
Student: Canadians.
[Class remains silent and professor stares.]Student: …I… Was just kidding.
Las Positas College
Livermore, California
Lady professor: AU is so different, there are so many females here. When I was in college, my sophomore year it was a five to one ratio! Males to females! The men were hanging from the trees. You’d walk through campus, wary, and then you’d sit at the cafeteria table and look up from your breakfast and there would be five guys -just staring at you!
Justice Research Class, American University
Washington, D.C.
Lit professor: Now, when we plant humans and they grow, we call those “zombies”.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Professor: Ben, what did you get for that one?
Student: First, I’m Matt. Second, I don’t know.
Professor: Well, it’s okay to be mad.
Student: No, I’m not mad, I’m Matt. M-A-T-T, Matt.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Kelly
Professor: Okay, this appears to be advertising for a brand of malt liquor. Who here drinks malt liquor?
Only black guy in class: Me!
Professor, laughing: Okay, Martin drinks malt liquor.
Black guy: Brothers drink malt liquor!
Professor, laughing: That’s right, brothers drink malt liquor!
Anthropology class, UCLA
Los Angeles, California
History teacher: Ah, sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. Well, I definitely did the rock 'n' roll bit. Not the drugs, though. And uh… Hm. So did you all do the assignment?
11th Grade History Class
Hong Kong
China
Student, as professor walks into classroom: Tomorrow's Earth Day!
Professor: Yesterday was 4/20!
Classroom, College of Marin
Marin County, California
