Recent college grad: Wait, you mean elephants are mammals?!

York, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: not a mammal either

Teacher: You can use stethoscopes to listen to water in trees. You should listen to thin trees and trees with less bark.
Student: Should it be hardwood or softwood?
Teacher: Softwood. You can’t beat softwood.

Alexandria, Virginia

60‐something guy, earnestly, to table full of seemingly level‐headed adults: They’re going to turn the moon into a weapon, the most powerful weapon ever…

Reno, Nevada

Overheard by: mini‐me

Student on bike to another: The problem with string theory nowadays is that everyone just wants to get into it.


Overheard by: Anti‐Math

College girl #1: Eating raw fish makes you super fertile.
College girl #2: Really?
College girl #1: Yeah, thats why I get pregnant so much.

Japanese Restaurant
Richmond, Virginia

Student: The trophoblast looks like a teething ring!
Sex ed teacher: Yes. It looks like a teething ring, but it’s not.

UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Akuaku

Physics professor: First we’ll put it in the A hole and then we’ll put it in the other hole.

Allegheny College

Hobo woman: So if you stand with one foot on Venus, and one on Mars, it is possible to move earth with a hockey stick.

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Drew

Teen girl #1: Omigawd, I just realized. If we borrowed five dollars from like twenty people, we’d have eighty dollars!
Teen girl #2: Haha, yeah! Wait. (long pause) Yeah, like eighty dollars!

St Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Had hope for a second, there

Get Off That Muffin for a Sec.

Guy #1, smashing grapes: I’m making wine.
Guy #2: That’s not how you make wine.
Guy #3: Yeah, you need yeast. Hey, Melissa, come here.