Brunette: I use babies as a unit of measurement.
5th Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Brunette: I use babies as a unit of measurement.
5th Avenue
Seattle, Washington
20-something #1: Yeah, see, that’s our problem: These girls are pushing 30 and their biological clocks are going off and all that.
20-something #2: Well, that wasn’t my problem before, she was 23 when I started dating her.
20-something #1 (thoughtfully): Yeah… that’s our other problem: time.
Airplane between Detroit and Las Vegas
Overheard by: ncs
Girl #1: This dress makes me look like a pregnant woman with small boobs.
Girl #2: Pregnant women can’t have small boobs. That’s like impossible. It’s, like, natural selection or something.
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rebecca
Undergrad: The whole reason I like the book was, like, because Isaac Newton is so badass!
Friend: I thought he was, like, an asshole.
Undergrad: No!
Carnegie Mellon University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: whatgoesup
Five-year-old boy: How old are you?
Tutor: Twenty.
Five-year-old boy: Yeah, well, do you know how to make a monkey?
Dallas, Texas
Girl: I think my ribs are double-jointed.
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Lit professor: Now, when we plant humans and they grow, we call those “zombies”.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Dude: You know, less than half of Snapple facts are true.
Chick: Really? Because I totally cited those in research papers.
College Park, Maryland
Middle-aged student: … But technically, can a woman get pregnant by two different men?
Biology professor: Depends on what party she went to.
York, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jessica
Thugette, into phone: How it gon’ be warm one day, rain the next, and freezin’ the next?
Asian guy: It’s called a cold front. Take a science class.
Thugette: I don’t need no science, nigga! I got God!
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
