That Will Be on the Final

Professor: Okay, this appears to be advertising for a brand of malt liquor. Who here drinks malt liquor?
Only black guy in class: Me!
Professor, laughing: Okay, Martin drinks malt liquor.
Black guy: Brothers drink malt liquor!
Professor, laughing: That’s right, brothers drink malt liquor!

Anthropology class, UCLA
Los Angeles, California

Posted on September 5, 2023
Black people, California, Class, Drinking & drunks, Teachers

Who Was Supposed to Bring the Lube Today?

History teacher: Ah, sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. Well, I definitely did the rock 'n' roll bit. Not the drugs, though. And uh… Hm. So did you all do the assignment?

11th Grade History Class
Hong Kong
China

Posted on July 29, 2023
China, Class, Drugs, Education, Music, Questions, Sex, Students, Teachers

So, Regardless, We're Going Green.

Student, as professor walks into classroom: Tomorrow's Earth Day!
Professor: Yesterday was 4/20!

Classroom, College of Marin
Marin County, California

Posted on July 9, 2023
California, Class, Comebacks, Education, Students, Teachers

By the End Of This Class, You'll Be Able to Open Them With Your Penis

Peer-taught health class leader: Do not open condoms with a knife.

Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

Posted on July 1, 2023
Advice, Class, Condoms, Default, Education, Oregon, Students

I Think a Musical About the Nazis Has Been Done, Sir.

Professor to creative writing class: This is probably one of the smartest things I've ever stumbled upon in my life, so I shouldn't blow my load this early.

University of Wisconsin

Overheard by: Mixi

Posted on June 12, 2023
Class, Compare and contrast, Cum, Education, Students, Teachers, Wisconsin

Oscar Meyer Was Never a Straight A Student

Instructor to student, during class debate: You look like you’re deep in thought there. Anything you want to share with us?
Student: Dude, I was just thinking about hot dogs.

College class
Farmington, Connecticut

Overheard by: Student

Posted on February 9, 2023
Class, Connecticut, Default, Education, Food, Guys, Questions, Students, Teachers

The 1990’s Called…

Philosophy professor, proving his argument: Therefore, if I don’t get a little crazy, then I’m never gonna survive.

Michigan State University
Michigan

Overheard by: sjshock

Posted on December 13, 2022
Character, Class, Death & dying, Default, Guys, Mental illnesses, Michigan, Teachers, Threats

I Wanted You to Understand How It Felt to Read Your Term Papers

Professor: I think I popped a few Oxycontins before I wrote this so it might not make any sense.

Salem State College
Salem, Massachusetts

Posted on November 30, 2022
Advice, Class, Drugs, Education, Massachusetts, Teachers

I Think I Read That in the Bible

Teacher: You can use stethoscopes to listen to water in trees. You should listen to thin trees and trees with less bark.
Student: Should it be hardwood or softwood?
Teacher: Softwood. You can't beat softwood.

Classroom
Alexandria, Virginia

Posted on November 2, 2022
Class, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Questions, Science, Students, Teachers, Virginia

Isn’t That because It’s Ann Landers’s Birthday?

Professor: Adams and Jefferson weren’t the only presidents to die on the Fourth of July. Does anyone know the third?
Student #1: Was it Monroe?
Professor: Yes, Monroe also died on the Fourth of July. Quite interesting, isn’t it?
Student #2: Is that why we celebrate the Fourth of July?

Liberal Ed floor, Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Ready to graduate

Posted on October 2, 2022
Class, History, Holidays, Illinois, Questions, Students, Teachers