You Altar Boys Know What I'm Talking About

English professor: I know what you're thinking. Two pages! I can write that with half a bottle of whiskey in me and my hands tied behind my back!

Cardinal Stritch University
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Posted on July 14, 2015
Class, Drinking & drunks, Education, Students, Teachers, Wisconsin

…But Isn't That Why I'm Here?

Cheerful student: Cheer up! It's going to be okay.
Glum professor: Says who? You?
Cheerful student: Yes!
Glum professor: But you don't know anything.
Cheerful student: True!

UC Berkeley School of Journalism
California

Posted on July 4, 2015
Advice, Class, Education, Feelings, Grumpies, Students

…After You Put Your Legs Up on Your Desk, Ma'am.

Male lab instructor: So, really, it's totally unnatural for a human baby to pass through such a small birth canal when their heads are so big. But it's also unnatural for us to give birth laying down. We should stand. Then the canal is more open, and gravity does most of the work. We are fighting nature. Now, why am I talking about pregnancy? I lost my train of thought.

Anthropology Class
Kent State University, Ohio

Posted on July 4, 2015
Body parts, Class, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Guys, Ohio, Pregnancy, Questions

Probably the Funniest Thing Ever Uttered in a Statistics Class

Indian professor with thick accent: Okay class. If I flip this coin 50 times, what is the probability that I get head?
Dude in the back: Man, I could flip a coin 100 times and I'm still not gettin' head.
(class bursts into hysterical laughter)
Indian professor: What? What did I say?

Statistics Class, George Washington University
Washington, DC

Posted on July 2, 2015
BJs, Class, Default, Education, Guys, Questions, Students, Teachers, Washington, DC

I Was Going to Say, “Masturbate to Climax”

History prof: Benjamin Harrison was a pretty boring guy, with all the personality of a statue…I’m sure he couldn’t even…
[Class snickers.]History prof: Oh god, you fricken teenagers, you drag everything into the gutter!

Colorado University
Boulder, Colorado

Posted on July 1, 2015
Age and ageing, Class, Colorado, Education, Gripes, Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Teens

How “What What (In the Butt)” Was Born

Teacher: Okay, I want you to write down twenty words relating to one of your hobbies, and then write a poem about it.
Girl: Can we write it on surprise butt sex?
Teacher: Errrmmm…if you want?

School Classroom
Australia

Overheard by: i wrote mine on sport….

Posted on June 29, 2015
Australia, Class, Default, Education, Girls, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex, Teachers, Words

Do Your Best and I’ll Laugh at You

Bimbette, inquiring about exam during review: Yeah, but, like — what if you, like, can’t think that hard?

Ohio University
Athens, Ohio

Posted on June 28, 2015
Bimbettes, Class, Ohio, Questions

With Their Affectionate Natures and Agile Fingers

Stats professor explaining problem: And that comes out to be 13.58 when we hire monkeys to plug in the values on our calculators…[more quietly] I really do love monkeys you know…

Barnum Hall, Tufts University
Massachusetts

Overheard by: Adrian