Guy: Yeah, I just got back from church.
Girl: Oh, really? So, are you going to church to find patients or to find a girl?
Guy: Well, I was thinking more for the religious part.
Girl: Oh, I didn’t think about it that way.
Millstadt, Illinois
Overheard by: Robbie
Guy: Come on! He’s only a little retarded.
Chick: I’m not going to sleep with him. Ever!
http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/03/its-illegal-anyway-right.html
Overheard by:
Male fencer: So, how’s that new job at the preschool?
Female fencer: Pretty good. One of the boys in the class is named after a Viet Cong assassin.
Metro State College of Denver
Colorado
Dude: I have lots of friends in anarchist groups.
Chick: Doesn’t an organized group of anarchists kind of defeat the purpose?
Dude: … You’re gay!
High school classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Guy: I’ve decided not to have an orgasm for the rest of the week.
Girl: God! Why?! You can’t have too many orgasms. It’s not like drinking too much!
Guy: I decide a lot of things.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Abstemious
Skinny girl: Holy shit! Jesus wasn’t rich?
Geeky guy: Um… No.
Skinny girl: So it was like a moral victory?
Geeky guy: … What?
London
England
Poor college kid #1: So, you used to break into cars?
Poor college kid #2: Yeah.
Poor college kid #1: How was that?
Rochester, New York
Older woman: So, I was at my parents’ house this weekend and there were some condoms sitting on the table…
Friend: What?
Older woman: Yeah. So I asked my mom, ‘Why do you need condoms?’ And she said, ‘It’s for easier clean up.’
Friend: Gross!
Older woman: Yeah… So that’s why I stopped asking my parents questions.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Emily I
Twink #1: I don’t want to just date him for the weekend — I want something for the rest of my life.
Twink #2: You could die Sunday. That would be the rest of your life.
The Hippo
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Mykl
Girl #1: Don’t sit on Lucy, the moose pillow!
Girl #2: You name your pillow?
Guy: That’s okay, I name lots of things. The cyst on my neck’s name is Doug.
Girls #1 and #2: Um…
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Maureen
