Marine to friend: So, it’s like a long story. But basically my mom shot my boyfriend.
CostCo
VictorVille, California
Marine to friend: So, it’s like a long story. But basically my mom shot my boyfriend.
CostCo
VictorVille, California
Teen girl #1: Oh my god! Really? Well, even though you’re three weeks late, you totally don’t have to worry until a month after you guys actually did it. So you’ve definitely got at least a week left until you need to start worrying.
Teen girl #2: … Really?
Teen girl #1: Yes, I’m completely sure. You’re totally fine. Golden. Except that you’re 17 and might be pregnant.
Dallas Airport
Dallas, Texas
20-ish girl, reminiscing: Yeah, one year we deep-fried a turkey… But then the driveway caught on fire.
Friend, laughing: What?! How?!
20-ish girl, distressed: I don’t want to talk about it right now.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Celessa Dietzel
Friend #1: You’re not inhaling!
Smoking girl: Do I have to inhale?
Friend #1: Yeah. Otherwise you’re not really smoking.
Friend #2: You’re just getting mouth cancer.
Bryn Mawr College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Club guy: You asked him if he has ever seen Dances with Wolves?
Club girl: Well, yeah. He’s Native American!
Club guy: That’s like asking a Jewish person if they have ever seen Fiddler on the Roof!
Ohio State University, High Street
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Tuition Wasted
Guy: No, Derek* is definitely gay.
Girl #1: No, he’s not! He has naked pictures of girls all over his walls and MySpace and everything.
Girl #2: So? You know he only has those because he likes to paint chickens on them!
Seattle, Washington
Emo girl: Hey, when we get home we should totally creep up on my sister and scare her.
Emo guy: I’m not scaring your sister. I already made a bad first impression on her.
Emo girl: Don’t worry, she won’t care. Seriously.
Emo guy: Look, I’ll throw a fish at her, but I’m not scaring her, okay?
Emo girl: Okay.
610 bus to Nambour
Australia
Overheard by: Aidan
Guy: So, my Friday night was a little awkward.
Girl: How so?
Guy: Well, uh… I sort of… um… Made out with Lyndsey.
Girl: Lyndsey. As in, my ex-boyfriend’s little sister, Lyndsey?! I can’t believe this! What the hell is wrong with you?
Guy: Don’t hate me. It wouldn’t have happened if you were there to watch me! I blame you. Die.
Woodinville, Washington
