Townie to his friend: Yeah well, just because you don’t like your fat wife doesn’t mean I don’t!
Plaza Restaurant
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyssa
Townie to his friend: Yeah well, just because you don’t like your fat wife doesn’t mean I don’t!
Plaza Restaurant
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyssa
Girl #1: I can understand the idea behind having an affair…
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s the change of scenery.
Girl #3: The change of dick…
East Lansing, Michigan
Female roommate, discussing broken toilet: It’s funny how the tampon goes but not the poop.
Male roommate: I should have stayed in my room.
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: should’ve stayed at the library…
Man in stall on the left: Bill, I think we’re in the wrong bathroom.
Man in stall on the right: Yeah, I think I just figured that out.
Women’s restroom at United Center
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: the girl in the stall between them
Six-year-old kid: Will you come over to our place?
Mom’s friend: No.
Six-year-old kid: Why not?
Mom’s friend: Because you’re annoying.
Mom: See? I told you!
Fabric Store
DeKalb, Illinois
Cute girl to other cute girls: Yeah, she needs a couple more months in LA until we can be friends with her…
Los Angeles, California
Chick #1: I miss my car.
Chick #2: I miss my car too. Not like, driving it or anything. But I miss my car. We’ve been through so much together –four accidents, hitting a mailbox, and a lot of repairs. But I’m not like, a bad driver or anything.
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Teen girl #1, looking at hot teen guy’s myspace page: He likes me.
Teen girl #2: No, he doesn’t.
Teen girl #1: Yes, he does. He told me I’d look good naked.
Teen girl #2: Well, that’s just a fact. It doesn’t mean he likes you.
Los Angeles, California
Girl to friend: I swear to god, if there is semen on my shirt, I will kill everyone.
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Tom and Laura
Guy #1: I think I fucked up my chance with Jen.
Guy #2: Why? what did you do?
Guy #1: Well she’s religious, and she sent me a text today that says, “I get real emotional on Good Friday.” so I write back, ‘I get real emotional on filet-o-fish Fridays.’ She hasn’t responded since.
Burbank, California
Overheard by: James Jameson
