Nanny (in thick Irish accent): Get over here right now!
(little girl does not move)
Nanny: Jesus sees you!
(little girl still not moving)
Nanny: Santa sees you, and you’ll get nothing!
(little girl runs to nanny)
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Charles
Teen girl to classmates: Jesus was not a President!
US History Class, High School
San Diego, California
Freshman theater student: So we were in acting class and we did this exercise where we had to portray mythological creatures, and afterwards when we were telling the class what we were, this one kid said: “I was Jesus!”
MBTA
Boston, Massachusetts
Blonde #1: I saw a church sign the other day that said “Let Jesus be a part of your rainbow.” Isn’t that, like, gay?
Blonde #2: Maybe you’re supposed to think about Jesus when you’re having gay sex.
Blonde #1: Ohhh… I get it now.
Piscataway, New Jersey
Overheard by: …. I don’t think anyone gets it.
Drunk college guy: If I were Jesus, everything would be different!
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Nic
Guy: My cousin got me this Jesus bracelet in like Cuba or something. It was only a dollar!
Jewish girl: Jesus shouldn’t have a price!
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: oh, jesus
Chick: I’m like Ash from Pokémon, only with Jesus!
Denver, Colorado
Girl #1: So, what’s your idea of the perfect guy?
Girl #2: Oh, I know what she’ll say! Jesus.
Girl #3, blushing: She’s right.
Girl #1, rolling eyes: Ugh! But you can’t go down on Jesus… can you?
Franklin, North Carolina
Overheard by: J-Bake-Oh
Skinny girl: Holy shit! Jesus wasn’t rich?
Geeky guy: Um… No.
Skinny girl: So it was like a moral victory?
Geeky guy: … What?
London
England
