Dude: In grade school I would always pretend that there was someone chasing me when we had to get timed for the sprint. I thought it would make me run faster. It didn’t.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Dude: In grade school I would always pretend that there was someone chasing me when we had to get timed for the sprint. I thought it would make me run faster. It didn’t.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Dude: I’m just going to paint my wiener with glow-in-the-dark paint, turn the lights off, and start dancing.
Guy at next table, making eye contact with only girl in group: Yeah, I heard that, too.
The Village Pub
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: abbs mcnabbs
Grad student #1: That waiter is wearing a toupée!
Grad student #2: No, he isn’t!
Grad student #1: Yes, he is! Some people have gay-dar — I have toupée-dar!
5 Points South
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Eric
Chick, during silence: … So I woke him up at like two in the morning and was like, ‘Holy fuck!’ … Oh, sorry. I guess I should explain myself.
Lecture hall, Wake Forest University
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Suit on cell: I just want to take her to North Carolina and pound the shit out of her. Is that okay?
18th Street and Belmont Road
Washington, DC
Overheard by: glad im not in NC
Bird man: Well, you know, some kids’ll pay 12-hundred dollars a month to live in some tiny room in a tiny apartment.
Cat woman: I lived like that when I was a kid. It’s fun — just living in other people’s apartments.
Bird woman: Yeah! These days it’s more like it’s fun sleeping 20 in a bathtub.
Woodstock, New York
Bimbette #1: Ewww, you did Brandon? Why? He’s so ugly!
Bimbette #2: He had a pet shark…
Climbing gym
Virginia
Chick #1: … And then when you woke up you were naked in Las Vegas?
Chick #2: Exactly.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Loud woman: Yeah, Santa was all fucked up on drugs.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Guy on cell: First, you take your girlfriend out drinking. Then she’s getting tattoos and piercings. Now she’s hooking up with chicks. Are you seeing a pattern here?
Light Rail
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
