Alabama

Frat boy #1: … And it just came out on her thigh. He didn’t even get it in. Just wound up on her thigh.
Frat boy #2, mumbling: Dude! I hate when that happens.
Frat boy #1: What?!
Frat boy #2: I said I ate some chicken.

University of Alabama, Alabama

Overheard by: CB

English professor: Just think of all the eggs that are wasted every time a woman doesn’t get pregnant… That’s what I do.

Montevallo, Alabama

Girl: So then I was about to call him a giant asshole, but I figured he’d take it as a compliment…
Guy: I get it! It’s because he’s gay!

University of Alabama
Alabama

Six-year-old boy playing in shipping carton: You can’t mail me! I’m your son!

Deatsville, Alabama

Overheard by: Don’t Tempt Me

Black guy kissing his girlfriend, looking into her eyes: Mmm… Your vagina’s so juicy.

Leaning on a school bus
Alabama

Overheard by: Joe

Teenager #1: Wanna rent Untraceable?
Teenager #2: Oh, that's like that movie where they can't trace him.

Vestavia Hills, Alabama

Overheard by: Keith

10-year-old boy to GameStop guy, after purchasing Mario Galaxy: Bye, I love you! I mean…wait. I meant “thank you.” I didn't mean it! (runs away)

GameStop
Vestavia Hills, Alabama

Overheard by: that's what they all say

Jock: Wait… Are you talking about Kim? I thought she was dating that guy.
Bimbette: Oh, you mean Fuck-face?
Jock: Yeah.
Bimbette: No, that’s over.

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Man gassing up his pickup truck to screaming woman inside: Goddammit, Delores, I cannot unfuck that woman!

Gas Station, Alabama

Customer, looking at strange photograph: Wow, that baby sure does have a lot of hair!
Cashier: I told my wife not to put a wig on that baby, but she just wouldn't listen.

Birmingham, Alabama