Black guy kissing his girlfriend, looking into her eyes: Mmm… Your vagina’s so juicy.

Leaning on a school bus

Overheard by: Joe

Teenager #1: Wanna rent Untraceable?
Teenager #2: Oh, that's like that movie where they can't trace him.

Vestavia Hills, Alabama

Overheard by: Keith

10-year-old boy to GameStop guy, after purchasing Mario Galaxy: Bye, I love you! I mean…wait. I meant “thank you.” I didn't mean it! (runs away)

Vestavia Hills, Alabama

Overheard by: that's what they all say

Jock: Wait… Are you talking about Kim? I thought she was dating that guy.
Bimbette: Oh, you mean Fuck-face?
Jock: Yeah.
Bimbette: No, that’s over.

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Man gassing up his pickup truck to screaming woman inside: Goddammit, Delores, I cannot unfuck that woman!

Gas Station, Alabama

Customer, looking at strange photograph: Wow, that baby sure does have a lot of hair!
Cashier: I told my wife not to put a wig on that baby, but she just wouldn't listen.

Birmingham, Alabama

Jock #1: I felt like such a whore today.
Jock #2: I can imagine.

Montevallo, Alabama

Girl #1: Do you think I could wash my clothes with fabric softener? I don't have any detergent.
Girl #2: That should probably work.
(30 minutes later)
Girl #2: So, did it work?
Girl #1: Yeah… I think… they don't smell anymore, at least. Good enough, right?

Laundry Room, University of Alabama
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: I don't think it is

3rd grade girl, about essay: I am writing about taking a vacation to heaven!
Teacher: Okay, but why don't you pick a place you can actually go on vacation? You can't really just visit heaven.
3rd grade boy: Yes you can! I went to heaven once to visit my aunt!

Auburn, Alabama

Woman #1: I love the smell of rain.
Woman #2: The only thing I smell is elephant shit.

Alabama State Fair

Overheard by: Wendy and Joe