Yuppie girl on cell: … And then he grabbed my ass right in front of her! If I was her, I would have thrown a fit… But she knows she’ll never be at my level.

Washington, DC

Tween boy: I'm going to make Buddha the theme of my Bar Mitzvah.
Uninterested yuppie mom: Mmhmmm.

TJ Maxx
Swampscott, Massachusetts

Overheard by: money well spent

Yuppie blonde: So I told him, I was like, ‘Don’t call it a party, you know? Just say you’re getting drunk!’
Yuppie brunette: Exactly.

24 Hour Fitness
Denver, Colorado

Yuppie: So then this guy jumped out wearing a ski mask and at first I laughed, but then I realized he was black!

Goshen, Indiana

Overheard by: Dej

Middle aged yuppie on cell: You know what we need? An emergency wine kit.

Outside the Coliseum
Oakland, California

Overheard by: Danial

Young female yuppie to friend: You really might have to calm me down. I haven't been in a mall in a long time.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: samantha

Late-20s blonde yuppie: I love him, and I think he loves me.
Late-20s brunette yuppie: That’s cool.
Late-20s blonde yuppie: Yeah, I think his name’s Paul or John or something.

North Beach
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: i love love

Yuppie wife to yuppie husband: Yeah, he was so cool he started fucking other people.


Overheard by: o'grady

Female yuppie: When my daughter was nine months old, she was eating tiramisu… with espresso in it!

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Kab00m

Chick, approaching yuppie guy: Hey I haven't seen you since…
Yuppie guy: Since I nailed you in the high school bathroom! Four… five years ago, right Jen?
Chick: No, that wasn't me. But thanks for remembering my name!


Overheard by: allie