Black guy on side of street to car passing slowly in traffic: Yo, I see you, don' need to roll ya window up, it's just a Honda, only get three stacks for it at the chop shop. (to friends) Shit, I get in the car and have you drive to the ATM machine, pop ya in the face, get ya pin number, withdraw $500. Receipt comes out 'insufficient funds'. Now I got to kill you.
Miami, Florida
Guy: If you had to suck a bag of dicks, would you want them to be hard or soft?
Girl: Soft! So I can fit them all in my mouth.
Guy: Well, I'd rather have them erect.
Girl: Oh! Uh. Why?
Guy: Cause there'd be less dicks in the bag.
Girl: What?! Why didn't I think of that?! Now I just sound like a whore!
Guy: You are.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Father: Did you hear about how McCain called his wife the c-word in front of a bunch of reporters?
Daughter: Well, in fairness to him, she probably is one.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Wife: Are you sure your office isn't closed for Columbus Day?
Husband: No, we could opt to take it off rather than the Friday after Thanksgiving.
Wife: Oh, that would be dumb.
Husband: Yeah. Besides, I think Columbus was kind of an a-hole.
Nashville, Tennessee
Teen girl #1: I don't get why they put “eat it” by the cheerleaders.
Teen girl #2: Me neither. You can't, like, eat cheers.
Teen girl #1: Yeah… But you can eat cheerleaders.
High School
Kansas
Guy in stall #1: Hi, how are you?
Guy in stall #2: Fine. Thanks.
Guy in stall #1: So what are you up to?
Guy in stall #2: Uh, the same as you.
Guy in stall #1: Can I come over?
Guy in stall #2: What the hell? I'm a little busy right now, freak!
Guy in stall #1: Listen, let me call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering my questions.
Restaurant Bathroom
Manhattan, New York
College girl #1: I have never taken my shirt off!
College girl #2: Wait, didn't you wear a see-through one before?
College girl #1: That was you, you whore!
UC Santa Cruz
California
Overheard by: Eric
Girl #1 to friend wearing tank top, booty shoes, and 3-inch heels: Girl, I don't know what they be sayin. You do not look like no hoe.
Girl #2, passing by, to friend: Hoe.
High School
Washington State
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: Fuck you! Fuck you, you hellspawn of Satan! You diseased monkey fucking dog wanking shitcunt!
Man, passing by: Pardon?
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: You heard me, you twat! You cocksucking pedophile wanker! (turning to passing woman) Excuse me my dear, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but could you spare a pound?
Woman, passing by: Sorry, no.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: God bless you! (turns back to passing man) Go fuck yourself, you cunt! I'll vomit on your fucking dog!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
