Oooh, Lick Your Lips While You Say That!

Drunk girl #1: (blows kiss to construction worker)
Drunk girl #2: You *so* just made his day!
Construction worker: Slut.

Exhibition Street
Melbourne, Australia

Posted on July 2, 2022
Australia, Construction workers, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Girls, Insults, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Girls, Learn Some New Insults. Granny, Get with the Program

Teen daughter: You’re a dickwad.
Mom: No, you’re a dickwad.
Teen daughter: No, you’re a dickwad.
Mom: No, you’re a dickwad.
Granny, with English accent: What’s a dickwad?
Teen daughter: It’s a pile of jism, Granny.
Dad: Okay, family meeting right now!

On the subway
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: jezebel

Posted on June 22, 2022
Canadia, Family ties, Insults, Moms, Old folks, Should have used a condom

I’m Basically a Communal Stress Ball

Yuppie girl on cell: … And then he grabbed my ass right in front of her! If I was her, I would have thrown a fit… But she knows she’ll never be at my level.

Georgetown
Washington, DC

Posted on June 18, 2022
Insults, Washington, DC, Yuppies

Also the Story Behind the KFC Double Down Sandwich

Cashier: Want to hear the lamest shit? I went to get Subway for lunch… And they were out of bread! Completely out! What the fuck is up with that?

Norman, Oklahoma

Posted on June 15, 2022
Employees, Food, Insults, Oklahoma, Stupidity

That's What Grrrl Power Means

Girl #1: I have to gloat a little. Who's the perv now, bitches?
Girl #2: Still us.
Girl #1: Well, duh, still us. But now them, too!
Girl #2: Totally.

Maynard, Massachusetts

Posted on May 14, 2022
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Insults, Massachusetts, Questions

How This Relates to Organic Chemistry Will Soon Become Clear

Professor: And you go home and watch something dumb on TV, like that Tila Tequila show with the lesbians and the guys… I don’t understand who would want to date her anyway, she looks like a disease on legs.

Harbor College, California

Posted on April 29, 2022
California, Default, Insults, Sexuality, Teachers, TV shows

Perilously Close to Being a Lovely Haiku.

7-year old kid #1: It's raining.
7-year old kid #2: The hurricanes are upon us, bitch!
7-year old kid #1, after long pause: It's raining.

New Jersey

Overheard by: it was raining

Posted on April 28, 2022
Insults, Kids, New Jersey, Weather, Weirdness

And He Was All, “But I’m Just the Babysitter!”

Lady to friend: So I told him… ten dollars for a hand job!
Friend: Good for you! What an asshole!

Ashland & North Ave
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on April 24, 2022
Compliments, Default, Friends, Illinois, Insults, Money, Offers and requests, Sex, Women

Tonight on How I Met Your Motherfucker

Very drunk 20-something girl trying to play darts: So what do I do?
30-something guy #1: Just throw 'em.
30-something guy #2: Failing that, love, just take your top off.
Very drunk 20-something girl: Cheeky motherfucker! Get me a vodka and I'll do it!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on April 22, 2022
Drinking & drunks, Drunks, England, Girls, Guys, Insults, Offers and requests, Sex

In That She’s an American in a Brit’s Body

Guy #1, after British tourists leave elevator: Stupid British bitches.
Guy #2: Wow, you hate Brits?
Guy #1: You know it.
Guy #2: But Maggie is British, and you like her.
Guy #1: Yeah, well, that’s because Maggie is a tranny.

Hotel Whitcomb
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Adam

Posted on April 1, 2022
Default, Feelings, Friends, Geography, Guys, Insults, Politics, San Francisco, Sexuality