Preppy girl #1: Wow, now we all have the same necklace! We should all wear them the next time we go out!
Preppy girl #2: Yeah! We’d be like the Power Rangers or something!
Preppy girl #3: Or we’d be like douchebags.
Eastern Market
Washington, DC
Overheard by: office peon does d.c.
American guy: Could you stamp my passport, please? It’s a hobby of mine.
Passport checker to coworker, in German: These damn Americans always want something. Look, they’ve all got booze and bags and t-shirts. Now they want stamps.
American girl: Sir, I’d like mine stamped, too.
Passport checker, in German: I bet that girl was here to fuck guys. American girls become sluts in Europe.
American girl: Sir, that’s not very nice!
Passport checker, still in German: I hate it when they know German. Then we can’t talk about them!
Airport
Cologne
Germany
Professor on first day of class: I used to go around and have everyone tell me their name, year, and what they hope to get from taking this class, but I decided that frankly, I don’t actually care.
Digital Media Class, Boston College
Boston, Massachusetts
Chick to friend: I’m telling you — he’s a communist leprechaun posing as a democrat!
Auburn, New York
Girl arguing with boyfriend on speaker phone: I hope you get herpes and get pistol-whipped! [Guy’s friend giggles in background.] Is that Nate? I hope he gets herpes and pistol-whipped, too!
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Sarah
Dude: I have lots of friends in anarchist groups.
Chick: Doesn’t an organized group of anarchists kind of defeat the purpose?
Dude: … You’re gay!
High school classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Woman modeling outfit from fitting room: What do you think?
Husband: That outfit makes you look like Garry Shandling!
Ann Taylor, Cherry Creek Mall
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: lauren
Girl #1: I don’t really like Kate.
Girl #2: Watch what you say about her — she’s my best friend!
Girl #1: Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize.
Girl #2: Yeah, we’re really close… Except for when she’s being a self-centered bitch.
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: That’s what I call loyalty
Crazy hobo: You have pretty hair, unlike mine. My hair is ugly. You’re ugly, too. [Chick stares.] I gotta go steal some DVDs now. Bye, ladies!
Downtown Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: At least he was honest
Mom, looking at pot belly hog: Look, this pig is so fat and lazy that it just lays there all day.
Chubby tween son: Yeah, just like me.
Mom, laughing nervously and glancing around: Come on, honey, don’t say that. You’re nothing like it.
Chubby tween son: Yes, I am, Mom. I’m serious. Don’t you see? It’s like looking in the mirror.
Donaldson Park Petting Zoo
Highland Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: beginning to see the resemblance
