Glad the condom broke

Little boy: How ’bout you get naked, and I get naked, and then we give naked hugs!

St. Joseph, Michigan

Mom: That’s Hollister. Remember what I told you about Hollister?
Toddler girl: Hollister.
Mom: Hollister is for po‐sers.
Toddler girl: Posers.
Mom: Po‐sers.
Toddler girl, giggling excitedly: Posers!

Garden State Plaza
Paramus, New Jersey

Overheard by: Sar

Mom: We can’t have ice cream. You just had candy at the movie.
Little girl: Mom, you are such a gutter‐skank.
Mom, flabbergasted: What did you say?! What did you call me?! Where did you hear that term?!
Little girl: Dad.

Capitol Street
Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Total Gutterskank

Mom: No, Joshua, put it down.
Five‐year‐old boy: No!
Mom: Put it down this instant, or you are going to be in big trouble, mister.
Five‐year‐old boy: No!
Mom: Drop it!
Five‐year‐old boy: Dammit, Kathy, I’m tired of your crap!

Walnut Creek, California

Little girl, about passerby wearing turban: Look, Mommy — it’s Aladdin.


Overheard by: Makes me want to have kids!

Eight‐year‐old: I believe the fanny dance is in order here.
Amused passerby: Awww, what is the fanny dance?
Eight‐year‐old: Wouldn’t you like to know.

Dallas, Texas

Four‐year‐old girl looking at Michelangelo’s David: Do you see the penis?
Nanny: Yes.
Four‐year‐old girl: I like the penis! Do you like the penis?
Nanny, turning around and walking away: There’s no good way to answer this.


Little kid in leather jacket to random man lighting cigarette: Nooo! Stop! Poison! I am too rich to die!

North Carolina

Five‐year‐old little boy to grandmother: If I ever meet George Bush, I’m going to kick him in the balls.

Overheard by: trying not to laugh parent

Woman: If anyone ever hurts you tell them to stop that, because it’s not nice.
Little girl: And then you kick them in the face!

Upper Hutt
New Zealand

Overheard by: Sarah