Jovial woman on cell: So, when the Alzheimer’s sets in, this’ll all work out for you in the end!
Grocery store
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Eggson
Jovial woman on cell: So, when the Alzheimer’s sets in, this’ll all work out for you in the end!
Grocery store
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Eggson
College dude on cell: It will be the same thing — we’ll go out drinking, she’ll drink too much, she’ll cry on my shirt, and then she’ll pass out and I’ll have to carry her home. Happens every time… Because, dude, she’s my girlfriend. It’s what we do… Because! It’s what everyone does.
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: not his girlfriend
Man on cell: … So I just put her in the closet, because she’s very quiet…
Military Road and 41st Street NW
Washington, DC
Chick on cell: Luckily, I have pink nails to protect us from future druggings.
Shady Grove bar
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle
Female cashier on cell while ringing up items: Of course I wash my hands after I go to the bathroom! [Long pause, then smirks flirtatiously.] Ew, Jonathon! [Lowers voice] I don’t do that to myself — especially not into my hands…
Staples
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: very amused
Angry guy on cell: Billy, I have one word for you — fucking piece of shit!
Sterling, Virginia
Dude on cell: Okay, here’s what you do — invite everyone over, fill the sprinkler systems with paint, and then just see what happens!
Mimi’s Café
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: MF Orange Slice
Girl on cell: She’s either completely wasted or having a diabetic attack, I’m not sure.
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Girl on phone with boyfriend: I’m in such a bad mood, I don’t even know! When I get home, you better not have a smile on your face or I will slap yo’ ass. Misery loves company up in here, bitch!
Williamsburg, Virginia
Overheard by: C. Barreto
Old lady on cell in crowded train: Yes, I’m here in a sardine tin, but everyone is really nice…
Tel-Aviv
Israel
Overheard by: claustrophobic
