On the phone

Girl on phone: Yes, I know you love me, but I'm not going to keep coming to the house you share with your wife to give you blowjobs whenever you want! (pause) You need to find somewhere else for us to do it.


Young man on cell: What the fuck did I do to make you such a bitch this morning?

Boise State University
Boise, Idaho

Overheard by: Dan Lester

Asian student on cell: Yeah, yeah. He know her long time. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah. She better than stripper.

University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts

Queer ranting on cell: You pissed your bed, now marinate in it, Mister Magical!

14th Street and Grand Boulevard
Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: Auds

Girl on cell: What do you want? I’m in a fucking dressing room… Oh yeah, I guess there was a stabbing earlier… What? It’s not like I was the one stabbing people!

1576 NE Halsey
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: really?

Girl in car, while on cell phone: I was coughing because I was eating a cookie while trying to have sex!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Squid

Young blonde on cell: Dad, there’s no butchers on Oxford Street. It’s all gay bars and kebab shops.


Chick on cell: Okay, good luck with the bees and good luck with the scoliosis.


Man on cell: I can't dust your house today, I'm dusting Amanda's. (pause) No, I'm dusting yours tomorrow. (very long pause) Well, then I don't know why I'm carrying around this dust-rag, I feel silly!

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Madeline

Girl on cell: I can't tell if I'm losing weight from softball or gaining weight from being hungry all the time.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire