Be Careful It Doesn’t Squirt You in the Eye

Guy on cell: Now turn it on and set it to cow mode… Right, but be sure it’s in cow mode… No, you’ll know when it’s in cow mode.

Kroger Grocery
Conway, Arkansas

Overheard by: Not sure I want to know

Posted on February 19, 2023
Advice, Animals, Arkansas, On the phone, Technology

What Do You Mean You're Bringing Potato Salad Instead?

African-American man on phone: Well, now, you just bring your hair… and you be on your way.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/405923160/left-it-in-my-other-purse.html

Overheard by: serial forgetter of hair

Posted on February 2, 2023
Black people, Hair, Offers and requests, On the phone, Overheard in Minneapolis, Weirdness

Turns Out Hell Is Nicer Than Michigan

Bimbette on cell: I thought I’d died, and then gone to, like, not heaven.

University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted on January 26, 2023
Bimbettes, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Fears, Michigan, On the phone, Religion

…Advertised As Used Bicycles

Cab driver, ending phone call: That's why you never marry a chick that'll swallow for an extra $20. Can't believe people like that are on Craigslist!

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on January 12, 2023
Advice, BJs, Massachusetts, On the phone, Relationships

… Doug

Man on cell: So, are we seeing a chick flick tonight? … Am I gonna get any play afterwards? … Sweet, I’ll see you later.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/this_is_what_romantic_comedies.html

Posted on January 9, 2023
Getting off, On the phone, Overheard in Minneapolis

So Do We.

20-something girl on cell: I had the malpractice ball this last weekend. It was in the Weisman Museum… kind of lame, not a lot of space. (pause) But I didn't bring a flask this year, so it was a little conservative, definitely a limited amount of alcohol. (pause) Are you going home for Passover? (pause) Oh my, are you converting? (pause) Yeah, I want to know what this whole Jerry Springer photo thing is all about.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/267290968/do-you-really.html

Overheard by: burrhead

Posted on December 6, 2022
About celebrities, Drinking & drunks, Girls, On the phone, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions, Religion, Weirdness, Wishes

…With the Red Carpet

Teenage girl on cell: I'm not saying that I want to be famous, I know not everyone can be famous, I'm just saying that's the one thing I've always, like, aspired to, just a beautiful connection.

Huddersfield
England

Posted on November 20, 2022
England, On the phone, Stupidity, Teens, Wishes

I Can Always Count on You, Mom

Girl on cell: Did you write it on my Facebook? Was it perverted or mean? Yeah? Good.

Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Posted on November 9, 2022
Canadia, Internet, On the phone

New York Apartments Are Too Damn Small

Girl on phone: I mean, do you know how strange it feels to climb out of the bed of the guy you just hooked up with and then climb into bed with your brother?

Chinatown bus from New York City to Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on November 3, 2022
Bus, On the phone, Questions

Alan Breaks Into a Chorus of “Gonna Floss Those Reds Right Out of My Lair”

Important looking man on cell: So, apparently, Georgia is being occupied by Russia. What this means to us is… Oooh! Toothbrushes!

Washington, DC

Overheard by: ak

Posted on October 24, 2022
Default, Geography, Guys, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Politics, Washington, DC, Weirdness

On the phone