Suit on cell: Yeah, well, we got into a fight about whether she would rather have a regenerating salami foot, or a regenerating cheese hand. She chose cheese hand, but I explained about the salami foot being protected by socks, while the cheese hand is exposed to everything. The conversation just went downhill from there…
Bellevue, Washington
Angry suit on cell: I cleaned out my ass for you, bitch!
On the Street
San Francisco, California
Girl on cell: Listen, he is not a nice guy. Anyone with handcuffs permanently attached to his bed frame is not a nice guy.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Guy on cell: And all I could say was: “Thank God… I have my surfboard with me!”
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Preppy brunette on cell: So did you hear? Hillary won the primaries yesterday! [Pause.] Wait, you mean there’s more than one?
JMU Bookstore
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Overheard by: baffled
Woman on cell: Well, I don’t feel like a lesbian.
Volunteer State Community College
Tennessee
Overheard by: kyndgrrl
Thug sitting in traffic yelling into cell: I moved you and the goddamn kids out here! I robbed muthafuckas for you! I’m facing five to ten goddamn years for you, and I can’t even get a goddamn thank you?! Bitch, you drunk?!
Highway
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: scaredspectator
Teen girl on cell: I saw this guy with a man tramp stamp… A mamp stamp.
Green Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sadie
Preppy girl on cell: the longest amount of time I’ve had pubic hair is three days.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: kt
