Red-faced man, shouting furiously into cell: Now you listen to me you… (sees small children nearby) pluck-arsed parrot.
Gouger Street, Adelaide, South Australia
Red-faced man, shouting furiously into cell: Now you listen to me you… (sees small children nearby) pluck-arsed parrot.
Gouger Street, Adelaide, South Australia
Chick on cell: David Hasselhoff just brushed past me. Mooing.
Coachella Music Festival
Indio, California
Overheard by: Brokeass Harem
Girl on cell: You know, like, I don’t feel tired, but, like, I know in my heart that I’m tired. You know?
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
Respectable-looking chick on cell: Not *nearly* enough trannies.
Vallejo and Powell
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Balding yuppie guy on cell: All things being equal, I would like to drink.
(pause)
Balding yuppie guy on cell: Oh, so you guys are drinking in the convent?
Saxby’s Coffee
Georgetown, Washington, DC
Woman on cell: That poor baby-mama! Or, shall I say: “wife”.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
College-aged girl on cell: How am I supposed to date him if I’m afraid he’s going to kill me and keep my vagina in a jar?
Grocery Store, Kentucky
40-something woman on phone: Was that the time when we made cone bras or the time when we shaved our legs with a nail file?
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Drunk guy on cell: Dad, I can’t talk right now, I’m surrounded by FBI agents, but I’ve got your $100, your beer, and your marijuana. Oh, and your toilet paper. [Pause.] No, dad, FBI agents. [Pause.] I don’t know, they’re all beautiful women.
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Guy on cell: Just because you own one doesn’t make you Mormon!
Barnes & Noble
Southlake, Texas
Overheard by: Autumn
