On the phone

Black lady on cell: I said, ‘Yeah, I’m black, but dat don’ mean I be makin’ counterfeit money!’

Food Lion
Sanford, North Carolina

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Girl on cell: No, Mom, you don’t understand! The sex toy party was a lot of fun! They just had some great stuff there, okay?

College bus
Allendale, Michigan

Girl on cell: 'cause I kinda cut off my balls…

Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: she didn't look trannyish

Man on cell: What? You calling me fat pussy? I will punch you in the face!

Boston, Massachusetts

Smokin' hot gay guy on phone: I bought the table under the impression that it was fuck-proof. My husband challenged me last night to prove otherwise. Now my table has been fucked through and Mark* isn't talking to me right now. (pause) Yeah, it does sound like a funny problem to have, but it's really not.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: The Sauce

Teen girl on cell: Cuz you're not a lesbian fan, and I like lesbians. They're funny.


Overheard by: um…

Man on cell on train: No, I told you nothing's wrong, I'm just tired. (very long pause) No, nothing's wrong. We don't need to have a talk. (long pause) No, I told you, nothing's wrong. I'm on the train. (very long pause, then annoyed) Do you want to make that pasta tonight? That sounds like fun.

Chicago, Illinois

Dude on cell: Hey, all I know is lonely men love chicken…

Illinois Wesleyan University

Overheard by: martha

Prissy girl on phone: You have a stupid face. You have to be my friend.


Overheard by: Gordinho

Man on cell: Maybe if I painted it white and drew a filter on it, she’d let me put it in her mouth.

Leavenworth, Kansas

Overheard by: Mark Smith