Hobo #1, holding gallon of water: I’ve been trying to drink a lot of water. You need to clear that toxic shit out. You collect lots of, uh, what they called? Endorsements. Your body just builds up these endorsements, and they poison you! I think that’s what they’re called… You know what I mean?
Hobo #2: [Nods knowingly.]
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Rich
Cop on radio: We’ve gotten a report from race security that there is a large Viking ship being rammed repeatedly into some garbage cans in the park.
Golden Gate Park
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: geek whisperer
Hipster girl to friend: I heard the most offensive thing in Crate & Barrel!
San Francisco, California
Man walking down street: Dude… your woman just said “we need to talk.” You need to get the fuck out of there right now!
San Francisco, California
Straight girl: So then we were making out, and it was really good…
Gay guy #1: Wait, isn't this story supposed to be about how good he was at going down on you?
Straight girl: Oh, I'm getting there.
Gay guy #2: Yeah, okay, but this is really taking too long. Get to the point.
Gay guy #1: Seriously. I mean, we don't really like hearing about straight hookups anyway. It's gross. We're just humoring you.
Guy guy #3: This is like the longest pussy-eating story I've heard all day.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: TMI
Automated train station announcement: Castro street station.
Excited little girl: Yay! Castro!
Bystander: The dictator or the district?
Excited little girl thinks for a second: The rainbows!
Castro Street Station
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Dawn
Too hip 20-something: But you have to also create an environment where epic things can transpire…
Walzwerk Restaurant
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: glamour-geek
Guy #1, after British tourists leave elevator: Stupid British bitches.
Guy #2: Wow, you hate Brits?
Guy #1: You know it.
Guy #2: But Maggie is British, and you like her.
Guy #1: Yeah, well, that’s because Maggie is a tranny.
Hotel Whitcomb
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Adam
Girl on cell: We’re going to vibe her vagina. Well, not vibe it.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: K
Suit on cell: I just landed in Maine. I mean San Diego. What am I thinking?
Airport
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: weary traveler
