Naked guy with cock ring and whip: So, what are we doing later this evening?
Boyfriend with nipple rings, dog collar, padlock, and leash: We’re going to my parents’ for dinner, remember?
Naked guy: Oh, right. Your dad asked me to help him with the aquarium.
Boyfriend, looking at huge dildos: And I want to help my mom finish the quilt she’s working on. And we should mulch the rose garden while we’re there, too.
Folsom Street Fair
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: cultural tourist
Frustrated mom: For the love of God, stop crying! If you don’t stop, I’m going to shove you back in my uterus, close my legs, and never let you out!
Crying little boy: No! I don’t like it in there!
San Francisco, California
Booth babe: So, you spent your day answering questions about free software, and you’re going to spend your night answering questions about — what — genital warts?
LinuxWorld Expo
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Just don’t confuse the two
Hippie chick on cell: … So then I realized that’s just how she is and I need to honor that.
Guy passerby: Just get it over with and call her a bitch already!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: melissa
Tween boy: Can you imagine what it would be like to spend the night here? All the unfriendly spirits…
Teen girl, horrified: And, bugs!
Alcatraz Island
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Casper the Friendly Roach
Mom with sunscreen in hand: Give me your arm so I can put this on you.
Little boy: Ewww! What is that?
Mom: Sunscreen. What did you think it was?
Little boy: Mayonnaise!
Giants Game, AT&T Park
San Francisco, California
Old grump #1: Well, you know how women boast.
Old grump #2: I know that. But I still cannot take her word for it that she is the best lay in the city.
Bloomingdale’s
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: the real deal
Teen girl to friend: Did you really think it was a coincidence that the week after you started bathing regularly you lost your virginity?
The Urban School
San Francisco, California
Bar patron: I might talk about it if I had a few drinks in me… But I’d never let someone do it!
Hawaii Bar
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: McNasty
Student: I decided to be a speech communication major because I like to talk a lot, and I wanted to find a way where I could get a job that makes me a lot of money for using my mouth.
San Francisco State University
California
