You Did Start Bathing with the Entire Football Team

Teen girl to friend: Did you really think it was a coincidence that the week after you started bathing regularly you lost your virginity?

The Urban School
San Francisco, California

Posted on January 3, 2025
Bathing, Questions, San Francisco, Teens

Before Harry Hole Joined the Police Force

Sheepish-looking PhD student coming out of washroom: Oh yes! I wasn't taking a shower with a glass of chardonnay! By “wasn't” I mean “was”, by “taking a shower” I mean “taking a dump”, and by “glass” I mean “bottle”. (long pause, looking down the hall) I was taking a dump with a bottle of chardonnay!

University of Northern Norway
Norway

Posted on July 20, 2023
Bathing, Drinking & drunks, Europe, Poop, Students, Weirdness, Words

How Hot That Sounds Depends on How Horny You Are

Nerd guy: Did you get a haircut?
Indie girl: No. Why?
Nerd guy: Your bangs are on the other side.
Indie girl: Oh, I didn't shower today.

Godfrey, Illinois

Overheard by: M

Posted on January 4, 2023
Bathing, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Girls, Guys, Hair, Illinois

So I Went With French Nails and I Never Looked Back

Professor: And so then after he killed the beast he went and bathed because there was dirt under his fingernails and a civilized man never has dirty fingernails… (pauses) My first girlfriend dumped me for dirty fingernails.

York University
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Student

Posted on March 26, 2022
Bathing, Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Health & Hygiene, Memory lane, Murder, Relationships, Teachers

Also, “Boner”

Nerdy philosophy professor: The word that comes to mind when I think about grading multiple-choice tests is 'bloodbath'.

Catholic University
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Ditto.

Posted on January 25, 2022
Bathing, Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Education, Teachers, Washington, DC, Words

Professional Jello Wrestling Has Its Pratfalls, Sweetie

Girl: But I showered for you this morning!
Boyfriend: So you don't want to go?
Girl: I didn't say that, but you made me get cleaned up this morning, and now I'm just going to get dirty. You better pay my water bill, for all these showers you make me take.

Quiznos
Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Believes in no-strings-attached hygene

Posted on September 17, 2021
Bathing, Couples, Florida, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Money, Relationships

All Those Slip-and-Fall Accidents Are Smitings

Religion teacher to class of girls: And remember girls, always wear a bikini in the shower, because god is always watching you.

Dublin
Ireland

Posted on July 26, 2020
Advice, Bathing, Clothes, God, Ireland, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

Unfortunately, He Caught Me at My Crustiest

Girl on cell: So I said, ‘If I knew you were going to be videotaping it, I would have showered.’

University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware

Posted on May 20, 2020
Bathing, Colleges & Universities, Delaware, On the phone

Mr. Bradshaw Sometimes Needs Help with the Basics

Loud guy on cell: Terry! Terry! Listen to me! Use that shampoo! And the conditioner! Get your hair the same way it was last week! (pause) Okay, see you there. Bye.

Oxford Street
London
England

Posted on October 16, 2019
Advice, Bathing, Cleanliness, England, Guys, Hair, On the phone

Oh, Leave Ethan Hawke Alone.

Guy to another: Why's he bother to wash his clothes, anyway, if he smells that bad and doesn't bother to bathe?

Laundromat
Catskill, New York

Overheard by: Amie

Posted on May 12, 2019
Bathing, Cleanliness, Clothes, Gossip, Guys, New York, Questions, Sensory experiences