We're Gonna Get Along Swimmingly, Mate.

Drunk #1: I'm telling you man, these fucking guys raped a fish.
Drunk #2: What fucking guys?
Drunk #1: In Africa. They raped a fish. That's why the fish have to wear condoms, so they don't have fish babies with bulging human eyes.
Drunk #3: How the fuck did we get from talking about his (gestures towards drunk #2) sister's hairy vulva to fish rape?
Drunk #4: How the fuck would you even rape a fish anyway?
Drunk #1: Gut it and wank with its corpse?
Drunk #2, knowingly: Or freeze it and push it up your arse.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on May 8, 2011
Animals, Ass, Drunks, England, Sex, Vagina, Weirdness

Chicago Has Two Types Of Bears, Ma'am

Guy #1: I loved the way you fucked me last night.
Guy #2: I can't wait to do it again, tonight.
Guy #1: Mmmm, I'm getting hot just thinking about it.
Annoyed woman sitting in front of them: You two fools do realize everyone on the bus can hear you, don't you?

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: CTA bus rider

Posted on May 7, 2011
Feelings, Guys, Illinois, Public transportation, Sex, Stupidity

Gay Cruising Slang Gets More Cryptic by the Minute.

Guy on phone: That sounds awesome. (pause) Did he kill the bear? (pause) Wellllll, fuck him!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Coral

Posted on April 3, 2011
Animals, Guys, Murder, New York, On the phone, Sex, Weirdness

Well, Did I Enjoy It?

Hot girl: Wait, we just had sex?
Hot guy: We just finished having sex like five minutes ago, do you not remember any of it?
Hot girl: Nope.
Hot guy: Actually, we just finished like thirty seconds ago…

Oxford
England

Posted on April 3, 2011
England, Girls, Guys, Memory lane, Questions, Sex, Stupidity

Further Evidence That It's Damaging to Let Your Kids Watch Too Many Cartoons

Muffled male voice, through the wall, at the end of an increasing crescendo of sex noises: Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats hoooooooooo!

Hotel
Nottingham
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on March 31, 2011
England, Guys, Sex, TV shows, Weirdness

Oooh, Could He Be the Swedish Chef?

Girl to guy: Okay, okay. You can play the waitress, and I'll play the creepy chef who's always trying to rape the waitresses.

Oslo
Norway

Posted on March 30, 2011
Europe, Girls, Offers and requests, Sex, Weirdness

I Hate My Children

40-something woman on cell: I am going to live to be one hundred, just to be a bitch.

Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: Jpov

Posted on March 25, 2011
Character, Colorado, On the phone, Sex, Wishes, Women

I Have the Sense to Be Grateful

Guy, sweetly to girlfriend: Hey, honey!
Guy friend: Did you know your voice changes when you talk to her?
Guy: Of course! She's the one who fucks me.

Saint Peter's College
New Jersey

Posted on March 22, 2011
Character, Guys, New Jersey, Questions, Relationships, Sex

Still Think You Miss Your 20s?

Girlfriend: That's your last drink tonight.
Boyfriend: What? Why?
Girlfriend: Why? Because I don't want to fuck a limp dick and then deal with you shitting yourself again. That's why.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Deedle

Posted on March 21, 2011
California, Couples, Drinking & drunks, Penis, Sex, Threats, Wishes

According to WikiLeaks

Professor: And, as you know, Sweden has the strictest rape laws in America.

UCLA, California

Posted on January 22, 2011
California, Geography, Sex, Stupidity, Teachers, Violence

Sex

Oooh, Could He Be the Swedish Chef?