Guy: My parents seem fake. My parents' friends seem really really fake.
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Guy: My parents seem fake. My parents' friends seem really really fake.
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Girl: I want a squirrel.
Friend: I want a cheeseburger.
UT
Austin, Texas
30-something white guy on cell: It may be an all-time low, but I can successfully whack it to Telemundo.
Frisco, Texas
Plain Jane: Finish eating, so we can go outside!
Goth girl: Quit bossing me around! I just got out of line five minutes ago; it's not my fault that it's 12:45 and I've only eaten half of my lunch!
Popular boy to goth girl: I don't think I've ever heard you speak before.
School Cafeteria
El Paso, Texas
Girl #1: What's an orgasm?
Girl #2: It's like when two people get excited during sex.
Girl #1: So, like, when they go “rawwwrr!”
Girl #2: Uh…yeah. Sure.
School Cafeteria
El Paso, Texas
Goth girl: My vagina’s sweating.
Goth boy: They really do that? I thought it was a myth. Man, I’m glad I don’t have one of those.
Congress Avenue and Barton Springs Road
Austin, Texas
20-something guy #1, carrying case of beer and bag of onions: You know when your aura gets all out of whack?
20-something guy #2, carrying same: Yeah, you just gotta get it back on track!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: wondering if beer and onions will be part of the ritual to restore his aura
Eight-year-old: I believe the fanny dance is in order here.
Amused passerby: Awww, what is the fanny dance?
Eight-year-old: Wouldn’t you like to know.
Dallas, Texas
Guy to another: I don't know what to tell you… If she won't break up with you because you invited her to have a threesome, then tell her that you have some disability… (mumbles) …like, what's that form of autism called? “Asperger syndrome”?
Bar
Austin, Texas
