Mother, to three-year old in stroller: Oh, ha ha ha! You’re retarded.
Paducah, Kentucky
Mother, to three-year old in stroller: Oh, ha ha ha! You’re retarded.
Paducah, Kentucky
Guy: I learned something… What did I learn? I learned that my son is a fatty.
Chick-fil-A
Marietta, Georgia
Flight attendant: As we prepare to disembark, please check to make sure you have not abandoned any bags, personal items or children. All abandoned items will be divided up among the flight attendants, except the children, who will be given to the captain.
JetBlue Flight
Drunk college student: What’s up, man?
Tired-looking bum: Allah! Allah always be up.
Drunk college student: True. True. Holla’ at your boy.
Green Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: On my way to church
Six-year-old girl, gyrating hips: Mommy! Mommy! This is how babies are made!
Mother: That’s nice.
Gap Store, Stanford Shopping Center
Palo Alto, California
Overheard by: this is why I don’t shop at the gap
Mitt Romney volunteer: So basically I asked my husband if we could please try not to have a baby this year.
Mackinac Island, Michigan
Overheard by: Glad I Chose Fred Thompson
Male flight attendant: … And if you brought more than two children with you today, decide which your favorite is and oxygen that one first.
Southwest Airlines Flight #135
Serious drunk guy: I made babies with a woman!
BrewFest
Jenkintown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Drunk Girl
Mom to screaming toddlers: No! You are the noisiest humans I’ve ever seen!
Staples
Franklin, Tennessee
