Staples Does Have Everything!

Mom to screaming toddlers: No! You are the noisiest humans I’ve ever seen!

Staples
Franklin, Tennessee

Posted on November 15, 2023
Moms, Offspring, Tennessee

Darling, Should We Rethink the Flat-Earth Primary School?

Seven-year-old son: And then you two are going to go home and… (whistles)
Father: Meaning?
Seven-year-old son: Have sex.
Mother: Darren!
Five-year-old son: Don't be silly! Girls don't have sex.

London
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on July 8, 2023
England, Family, Kids, Offspring, Relationships, Sex

If Only There Were Some Way to Prevent That…

Woman: We are having more kids, dammit!

Fort Worth, Texas

Posted on July 8, 2023
Feelings, Kids, Offspring, Texas, Women

Tragically, Many Kids Don't Recognize a Vegetable When They See One.

Mom, with neck tattoo reading “ape” to toddler daughter picking produce: Put that back. That is not what you think it is.

Wal-Mart
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Kathyp

Posted on May 28, 2023
Kids, Moms, Offspring, Oklahoma, Parenting, Shopping

Or a Sunburn. With Blisters

Guy: I don’t mean children should burn in hell, just burn a little. Like their hands.

Wisconsin

Posted on December 2, 2022
Crazies, Offspring, Wisconsin

But, for the Record, I Adore David Spade

Girl #1: She’s pregnant? I thought she was on birth control?
Girl #2: She still is.
Girl #1: Isn’t that bad for the baby?
Girl #2: Not really, all that will happen is if it’s a boy, it will start looking more like a girl…
Girl #1: That’s messed up.

Bathroom Stall, Nutty Irishman Bar
Farmingdale, New York

Overheard by: Jennifer

Posted on June 7, 2021
Bars & Clubs, Girls, New York, Offspring, Pregnancy, Questions, Sexuality

Not Until You Figure Out Which Wire to Clip, Sweetie.

Mother: Just sit there a minute. I need to go say goodbye to Jamie*.
Three-year-old boy, buckled into stroller, trying to stand: Let me out of this booby trap!

County Fair
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Cat