Student: I have that song “Ring My Bell” in my head.
Advisor #1: The one by Diana Ross.
Student: I think so.
Advisor #2, from adjacent cube: It's not Diana Ross.
Advisor #1: Well, who is it?
Advisor #2: I don't know, but not Diana Ross.
Student: And that song “In the Navy.”
Advisor #2: That's not Diana Ross either. Just as gay, but not Diana Ross.

El Paso, Texas

Overheard by: Disco Dan

Guy going to study for finals: I’m kinda scared to sit in a cubicle alone… by myself… Alone with my thoughts. Not good.

PCL Library
University of Texas at Austin

Attractive passerby: And then she was all like, “my parents would never press charges against you.” And I was so touched…

Houston, Texas

Customer: I’m so sorry about the mess I left in the dressing room — I just had to be sure I loved what I was buying for the big day!
Sales associate: No problem. A girl only gets married once, right?
Customer: Actually, this is my second marriage… What kind of bra are you wearing?

Denton, Texas

Girl: She has vagina legs.
Guy friend: How does she have vagina legs?

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas

Punk girl: So we started fucking on a regular basis, right? And then I realized that I may actually like the guy!

University Campus
Austin, Texas

Girl to friend: I'm not an alcoholic.
Friend: I'm not an alcoholic, either.
Girl: Cheers to us not being alcoholics!

Austin, Texas

Man: She was that lesbian — the one who wanted to have a three-way and told me I could watch.

Three Allen Center
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: B_tay

Mover and shaker: I went to a military academy, I know about anal sex. I went to a military academy.

Austin, Texas

Man on cell: I can't dust your house today, I'm dusting Amanda's. (pause) No, I'm dusting yours tomorrow. (very long pause) Well, then I don't know why I'm carrying around this dust-rag, I feel silly!

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Madeline