90% of the Time, Your Kids Won’t Even Appreciate Your Brilliance

Small child, pointing to an “eat pussy” graffiti painted on the side of a restaurant: Daddy, what does that say?
Father: It’s a menu.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Chikara

Posted on January 19, 2023
Canadia, Dads, Default, Euphemisms, Family, Family ties, Food, Kids, Questions, Restaurants, Words

A Nightmare I Thought Had Ended in the Mid‐90’s

Mother: Hey, you could get a job at Build‐A‐Bear.
Exasperated daughter: No I couldn’t, they have to wear khaki pants and denim shirts.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/324349984/its-practically-oppression.html

Overheard by: what?s wrong with that?

Posted on November 12, 2022
Clothes, Family, Jobs & Careers, Moms, Overheard in Minneapolis, Parenting

Okay, You Don’t Have to Show Me.

Grandson, watching grandmother hold cigar as if it was a joint: If grandma takes off her bra and burns it, I’m gonna freak out.
Grandma: Oh, Simon! I’m not wearing one.

Spencer, Iowa

Posted on July 23, 2022
Drugs, Family, Family ties, Iowa, Old folks, Smoking, Undies, Weirdness

No One in Paris Ever Pees on Walls or Sits on Steps

Enraged Frenchman to woman and son who is discreetly peeing on wall: What is wrong with you? Find a bathroom, this is a business! (starts walking away and then comes to a woman and her teenage daughter sitting on steps) And you two, get out! What are you, from the mountains? (to himself, walking away) Oh my god! I don’t believe this!

Fira
Santorini
Greece

Posted on July 18, 2022
Europe, Family, Foreigners, Gripes, Kids, Parents, Pee, Questions, Strangers, Teens

Guess It’s Montessori School for You Then

Dad, changing son’s diaper: Why don’t you want to wear a diaper? You want to run around naked and piss and poop all over the floor?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: What are you, an anarchist?

New Jersey

Posted on March 11, 2022
Dads, Family, Health & Hygiene, Kids, New Jersey, Parenting, Pee, Politics, Poop, Wishes

…and Rent All the Cool Cars

Little girl: (talking over airport announcement)
Father: Quiet for a second!
Girl: (continues talking until announcement is over)
Father: Great. What if he was saying “Run! Zombies!”? We’ll be sitting here like idiots while the zombies come…

O’Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on January 17, 2022
Airports & flights, Compare and contrast, Dads, Default, Family, Guys, Illinois, Offers and requests, Questions, Zombies

Doughnuts, at Least, Are Cheaper by the Dozen

Mother to daughter: And soon you’ll be having babies…
Daughter’s friend: I want a baby.
Daughter: What?!
Friend: Actually I want a doughnut, but no one was listening to me.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: and i want a pony

Posted on December 6, 2020
Canadia, Family, Food, Friends, Moms, Parenting, Pregnancy, Wishes

…Bowser

Little boy to grandma: Once, when I was camping, I sat on my biscuits, then I put my biscuits on a rock and ate them like a dog.
Grandma: Oh, uh… That’s nice…

Australia

Posted on November 14, 2020
Animals, Australia, Family, Food, Kids, Memory lane, Pride

We’re Not Too Proud to Admit That We Snickered

Granddaughter: Is it wet?
Grandmother: Oh, believe me. It’s wet.

Waco, Texas

Overheard by: I need to get whatever they’re using.

Posted on May 24, 2020
Default, Family, Girls, Old folks, Questions, Texas

Unless You Know Something About Louis Pasteur That I Don’t

Middle‐aged woman, on sex offenders: Those people should just be pasteurized.
Teen daughter: Pasteurized?
Woman: Yeah, you know. Pasteurized.
Daughter: No, mom. I don’t think that’s what you mean.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/430097826/it-might-work.html

Overheard by: that might be just as effective

Posted on December 12, 2019
Family, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions, Stupidity, Women, Words

Family