Texas

Woman: We are having more kids, dammit!

Fort Worth, Texas

Granddaughter: Is it wet?
Grandmother: Oh, believe me. It's wet.

Waco, Texas

Overheard by: I need to get whatever they're using.

Guy #1: The deaf people are coming out in droves.
Guy #2: That bad?
Guy #1: Dude, it's like day of the deaf, or night of the living deaf!

Wal-Mart
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Rev Loon

Party girl #1: I totally puked at that party last night. I'm going to make a scrapbook of all the parties I have puked at.
Party girl #2: That would be awesome! You definitely have enough for a scrapbook or two!

IHOP
Dallas, Texas

Girl to sister: The cheese is so good! It tastes like chicken!

Parenra
Houston, Texas

Little girl: Mommy, I know where ’em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here — here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.

Mansfield, Texas

Little boy: I don’t like your rules, Mommy!
Mom: They aren’t my rules, honey, they’re America’s rules.

Austin, Texas

Black woman to child: You just mama's little white boy, aren't you? Yes you are!
Passing Hispanic woman: Is he really white?

Wal-Mart Parking Lot
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Walk By Faster

Hispanic cleaning lady, about being a nurse in Mexico: It's not like over there, like say, if you accidentally kill an old person, you have to buy another one.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: high school aide

Girl: We need to go steal more diapers from Target.

Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas